My New Years Eve

Started out at Buffalo Wild Wings with the wife where I had 6 Blazin' wings and some other stuff. They didn't make me cry like they did the last time I had them, so I was a bit disappointed. The wife had Caribbean Jerk and Spicy Garlic.

Then we got home, and the fun started, but a little back story first.

My cat, Papi, legendary killer of creatures great and small, had been acting weird the past few days. I chalked it up to a bad batch of cardinal or something, but yesterday morning I noticed he was licking his neck a lot so I picked him up to inspect it, thinking he had a tick or something. It turns out he had big gash in his neck. Coincided with the fact that the inbregnorants dog got loose a few times a couple of days previously, I had a good idea what caused the gash.

The wound was pink and didn't look infected, so I let my wife know about it and I went off to work. When I got home from work I couldn't find the cat anywhere and I was worried because I wanted to check out his wound.

Fast forward to when we got home from the restaurant, my stomach on fire mind you, and he was in the house so I checked his neck. Inflamed and stinky. Crap.

Rewind to the beginning of the day, when I called animal control about the dog, who told me to call back when I was home. Well, I was home now, and that stinking dog had been barking for hours on end non stop. So I called again.

It's not a friendly dog when its loose, and this was about more than the cat and the barking. I can't let my kids play out in the yard, not fenced by the way, but will be come spring, when there is the possibility a 75 pound half starved dog is going chase them down.

So, the police officer comes into my house, I ask him my options. He tells me about filing various things in court. I say ok, thanks, and he leaves. I didn't know he was going to talk to the neighbors.

Next thing I know my oldest comes into the living room telling me he hears a woman yelling out in the yard.

Yes. There was lots of yelling*. And now I have enemies. I personally don't care although I worry that my kids will get harassed (they actually accused my kids of leaving trash in their yard during some of that yelling (I can only imagine what that cop was thinking)), but I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

They brought the dog into the house, and I haven't heard it bark in 11 hours. It's beautiful.

So, back to the cat, after the officer left and the inbregnorants returned to their den, we took the cat to the pet emergency clinic (yeah, I didn't know they had those) and a few hours later he was partially shaved, stitched up and sporting a new drain in his neck which we have to keep clean for a few days until it gets taken out.

Now he is stuck inside for two weeks. You ever see those lions at the zoo that just pace back and forth in their cages looking like they want to kill you? Yeah. Its like that.

*There's a lot of good material in there, but you'll have to hear it personally. I don't feel like typing it all now

Pet Sematary Update

I haven't seen The Cat in a few days. Perhaps he curled up in a 50 gallon drum somewhere and finally gave up the ghost. I should probably check under the shed.

Pet Sematary

Some of you who read this here collection of non-sensical rants, raves and reviews might remember me mentioning my neighbor's he-whore cat who lives in her junk pile with 5 other cats. The same cat who deflowered one of our cats when she was just 9 months (that's like 14 in people years).

Well, about a month and a half ago I noticed he had what looked to be an infection in one of his eyes. I didn't think much of it at the time other than, gross (Also at this time, I noticed one of the other cats was walking on three legs and half its tail was gone).

Fast-forward to this weekend as I watched him amble out to sit in the middle of the cul-de-sac, and thought, that thing ain't right. Barely able to walk, fur all matted, and both his eyes a mess, I figured he was pretty near to a trip down to kitty hell, where all the kitty sex offenders go. I was surprised at his transformation from virile pervert to creaky, near-death lech in such a short period of time.

Anyway, today I stepped outside and was greeted with this sitting in my wheel well.

Taking these pictures was a little unnerving. I like my eyes to remain in their current location, and not to be clawed out of my head.

This is a separate story, but one I thought I'd share. I can see the the junk pile from my kitchen window. One sunny Saturday morning last summer, he was out there in plain view "going to town" on one of the other cats. Off and on for what seemed like an hour. I didn't know whether to respect him or be disgusted by him. Eventually, I went outside and yelled, "break it up you two" and squirted the hose at them.

People are disgruntled at work

It's not just me and many of them are quitting. I can't wait until its my turn.

In other news, it was over a 100 degrees again today. I think I'll empty the icemaker into the kiddie pool while I watch TV.

One of my neighbor's cars (they have 6, 3 working) caught on fire. Apparently, the sun reflecting off the mirror ignited a pile of mulch.

Our cat, the one who disappeared for a month still isn't quite right. Probably suffering from post traumatic stress. He's very skittish and he has to be forced to go outside.

My daughter is watching Rachael Ray.

Today someone from my old department asked me if it was possible to do such and such. I nonchalantly told him, "Yeah." When I completed the task 15 minutes later you would think that I saved his granddaughter from a burning building. He was that excited. On and on he went about how much time I saved him. Later on in the day, he told me he and some of the other people in his group were "happier than pigs in sh*%" and "they've been looking for something like this for years." To which I replied, "I sat right next to those people for 9 months, all they had to do was ask me." But its just another example of why this job has been so frustrating ("Hey! Let's hire a programmer to fill out user request forms! Brilliant!"). Well, the old department anyway, the new department is frustrating in other ways. Like having a giant pile of poop dumped on your desk frustrating. It's not too bad most days though, except those days when there is an endless parade of whiners in and out of my office. If they offered me a sizable bonus (pretty dang sizable) to stay until the lights go out, I probably might not.

This guy who asked me to do this, he's alright, but I get a vibe from him that he probably has the largest collection of Asian porn in the South. Weird, I know.

It's a Christmas Miracle!

We pulled onto our street tonight and there in the road was a black cat! "That's Papi!" I declared.

A month he has been gone. He doesn't look too bad. He lost weight but other than that he's the same as he was when he disappeared. His flea collar is still on even.

Two girls across the street later told me they found him that morning in the storm drain and they fed him some bologna.

Welcome back. I could have used you last weekend when I found two snakes in the yard whilst landscaping. Get back to work killing vermin and such.

In Other News...

Papi the Cat, blood thirsty killer, aloof friend, purveyor of the classic claw to face 5 am wake up call, is MIA. We were away last weekend and asked someone to feed him and our other cat, a recent new addition named Trixie. They let him outside and apparently he never came back. Who knows when they came back to check on him.

Is it Sunday already? We should go check on the cat.

We've been hoping he would turn up, but he hasn't as of yet, which is not a good sign.

And moles the world over rejoiced!

Just for the record, since I last posted a Bodycount update, he had killed a bird and a mole.

Bodycount 2007

A bird and a mole. Total: 6.

Eat. Sleep. Kill.

My cat lives the dream. He killed a mole on Sunday. That's 3 for Bodycount 2007.

Oh Evil One

My cat killed a blue jay today. His second one in a month. I thought birds flew south for the winter? Did the warm weather confuse them? What do birds think about when a cat springs out of nowhere and grasps them with its claws, besides OH CRAP of course?

At least I didn't have to watch him toy with this bird's life like the last one. It was just there, dead, when I took the trash out.

Things I said to the Cat this Weekend

How about you quit buggin' me and I won't kill you

Humans eat before cats do

You sink your claws into my couch again and you'll be part of someones takeout order from China Panda

Isn't there a chipmunk out there somewhere that needs torturing?