Fabulous Movie Review©

	Fool's Gold
	Released: 2/8/2008 Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested) Length: 1 hr 53 mins Genre: Comedy, Romantic Comedy Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson
	Not as bad as I thought it was going to be considering that Kate Hudson has the same effect on my innards as e coli, and Matthew McConaughey, gawd love'm that dope smoking fool, only makes movies that guarantee he and his agent shall get paid regardless of script quality. While we are picking on the stars, let's move on to a few of the co-stars, Donald Sutherland is a creepy old man in this film. No surprise there. He perfected that role in the 70s and he is loathe to try anything else, because, why bother, he gets paid regardless. And Malcom-Jamal Warner-Huxtable is painful, p a i n f u l, to watch on screen. All that being said, you could watch worse movies than Fool's Gold, like Get Smart, and you could watch worse movies starring Kate Hudson and/or Matthew McConaughey, but you wouldn't have the pleasure of blaming me for recommending this one to you. Although I'm not, really. You just think I might be. But that would probably be an incorrect assumption on your part. I gave it a 5.5. Generally, that means I didn't like it. But I could have not liked it a lot worse.
	5.5 out of 10

Fabulous Movie Review©

	Get Smart
	Released: 2008 Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested) Length: 1 hr 50 mins Genre: Comedy Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway
	Perhaps I am being too harsh, but I thought that Get Smart was a big giant turd. The pinnacle of bad 60s TV show remakes. They can't possibly get any worse than this. I am tired of Steve Carell. He has this idea in his head that he is funny when he ad libs. Just like with Jim Carrey, the rubber facing and monkey noises has grown old. So, so old. Your 30 minutes of fame are up. Time to hand the keys to the dressing room over to the next unoriginal hack with a "talent" for making funny faces (hey maybe its me!).
	4.0 out of 10

Fabulous Movie Review©

	Untraceable
	Released: 2008 Rating: R (Restricted) Length: 1 hr 41 mins Genre: Thriller Starring: Diane Lane, Zachary Hoffman, Joseph Cross, Billy Burke, Colin Hanks Directed by: Gregory Hoblit Cinematographer: Anastas Michos Composer: Christopher Young
	Diane Lane = Good. Untraceable = Bad.
	5.0 out of 10

Inferiority Duplex

It really bugs me when someone who I feel is an inferior developer, and I don't mean inferior to me specifically, but inferior to every person who I have ever worked with, is given a task which involves an enhancement to something that I originally built.

It always means three things, I am going to be asked a lot of questions which I will either have to ignore or waste valuable energy coming up with the vaguest answers possible (who am I kidding...I love doing that), I will get blamed for whatever P.O.S. gets launched into production because I birthed that baby and there's no such thing as giving it up for adoption (translation: I was the original developer attached to the project and nobody will ever forget that until I die or sample the green grass on the other side of the fence (translation: get a new job)), and finally, I will have to fix it at some point in the future, a task which I am doing right now on something else.

For Pete, With Love

Its supposed to be animated but blogger isn't cooperating and I don't feel like circumventing the system right now. Click on it...

Thanks for the warning

I hate it when my unit gets inadvertently scratched.

You can call me a redneck, just don't call me white trash

On second thought, labels hurt, man, don't call me anything, but if you must pigeonhole me I prefer the term Pick-up Truck Driving American.

I made a new target something or other (?) with lippy tin covers (my roommate in college called them that). It works pretty well and I don't have to keep picking up the empty cans of Joose.

Crap

It just started pouring here. Someone make it stop.

I just had the realization that I am trying to carry on a conversation with my blog. I'm going away now.

Cockroaches

So they say that cockroaches could survive nuclear war. You know what they can't survive? A nice blast of starting fluid. It's the first thing I grabbed (I was in the shed).

Unleeesss, the starting fluid just put him to sleep for awhile. Rats. I should have squashed him too.

Fabulous Movie Review©

	Step Brothers
	Released: 2008 Rating: Unrated Length: 3 hrs 23 mins Genre: Comedy Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Richard Jenkins, Mary Steenburgen, Ian Roberts Directed by: Adam McKay
	I'm still way behind on movie reviews. How behind you ask? Here's my list: The Professionals Companeros Prize Winner of Defiance, OH Death Rides a Horse Zulu Kung Fu Panda Untraceable Get Smart Fools Gold Four of the Apocalypse License to Wed The Dark Knight Running with Scissors Body of Lies Righteous Kill Why don't you do me a favor and tell me which one you would like me to do next. Anyway. It was brought to my attention that I forgot to review Step Brothers. To say that I was shocked to have forgotten about this movie would be an understatement. Usually the ones I like the most get bumped up the list and get reviewed right away (or the very, very bad (of course, that doesn't explain why I haven't done such toilet cloggers like Get Smart or Untraceable (maybe because they are so bad they left me speechless (that must be it (how many nested parentheses can I do before people stop caring (probably they stopped caring long long ago (of course, for someone to stop caring, they have to have actually cared at some point))))))). So, here I am typing up this review at midnight to right the wrong which I have perpetrated against the interweb and Will Ferrell. This movie is great. Oh, you were looking for something more in-depth? This movie is really great. What? What do you want from me? (Does anybody else notice I've been talking to myself a lot lately?) While watching Step Brothers I actually thought it was a little too silly and childish and immature (shut up) and my initial reaction was that it was just OK, but still way better than Talladega Nights. Something happened to me the next day though. I found myself laughing out loud whilst thinking about the movie (yes, my coworkers look at me funny. often) and I grew to like it more and more. That's never happened before. Usually, my opinion of a movie is formed either during the opening credits or right after the closing credits and my opinion is set in stone. Not so with Step Brothers. That's all the nonsense I got for you tonight.
	8.0 out of 10

Nap Time

I took a nap on my four wheeler this afternoon. I miss her so much. Plus, I think the black seat is more comfortable than the red one.

I'm Back

Didja miss me?

Oh. Ok then.

Is It Time to Go Yet?

Yes, the annual trip to the mountains of West Virginia is almost upon us. I will be out of your hair from Saturday until Thursday, unless we manage to steal bandwidth from some unsuspecting wireless router owner.

Enjoy your time without me. I'll be back before you can miss me.

Pet Sematary

Some of you who read this here collection of non-sensical rants, raves and reviews might remember me mentioning my neighbor's he-whore cat who lives in her junk pile with 5 other cats. The same cat who deflowered one of our cats when she was just 9 months (that's like 14 in people years).

Well, about a month and a half ago I noticed he had what looked to be an infection in one of his eyes. I didn't think much of it at the time other than, gross (Also at this time, I noticed one of the other cats was walking on three legs and half its tail was gone).

Fast-forward to this weekend as I watched him amble out to sit in the middle of the cul-de-sac, and thought, that thing ain't right. Barely able to walk, fur all matted, and both his eyes a mess, I figured he was pretty near to a trip down to kitty hell, where all the kitty sex offenders go. I was surprised at his transformation from virile pervert to creaky, near-death lech in such a short period of time.

Anyway, today I stepped outside and was greeted with this sitting in my wheel well.

Taking these pictures was a little unnerving. I like my eyes to remain in their current location, and not to be clawed out of my head.

This is a separate story, but one I thought I'd share. I can see the the junk pile from my kitchen window. One sunny Saturday morning last summer, he was out there in plain view "going to town" on one of the other cats. Off and on for what seemed like an hour. I didn't know whether to respect him or be disgusted by him. Eventually, I went outside and yelled, "break it up you two" and squirted the hose at them.

Great Stuff

http://www.mensjournal.com/brian-cashman

Best quote:

He’s sort of like the Democratic Party in that he has managed to convince his fans that he was actually against deals he voted for/was in on from the beginning, and vice versa.

Another Book

Catch-22 ~ Joseph Heller

Absolutely brilliant. That's all I can say. Anything else would just be me, rambling on, saying dumb stuff to make myself sound smart, but really, just embarrassing myself and causing people to laugh at me behind my back which would eventually get back to me, causing much grief and sadness, and the end result would be succumbing to my Twizzler addiction where I would eventually be found in the gutter in front of 7-11 twitching with a red ring around my mouth muttering something about Major Major.

Weird Day

Its been raining off and on all day, but the for most part the sun has been out.

Behold

Handlebars, grips and clutch lever.

 

The grips are great. No glue necessary, they clip on. We'll see how they hold up in the real world, but for now I'm impressed with them.

New front tires and wheels. Big difference in size. Size does matter.

You know what's a weird word

when you say it or read it too much? Bronco

I Hate Cupcakes

They're always dry, yet sticky. You can't ever take the right sized bite or avoid getting crumbs all over the place, and its impossible not to get frosting on your face.

I hate cupcakes.

Fabulous Movie Review©

	Open Range
	Released: 8/15/2003 Rating: R (Restricted) Length: 2 hrs 19 mins Genre: Western Starring: Patricia Benedict, Annette Bening, Abraham Benrubi, Kim Coates, Diego Diablo Del Mar
	First of all, I applaud any effort at making new westerns. Open Range is good, not great. They threw in a love story, which isn’t unheard of obviously, but Kevin Costner's monologuing, something he does in every film it seems, was a little forced and nonsensical, and he’s a little oversensitive about his “past” where in an Eastwood movie Clint would have more of a 'love or leave it attitude', or just not deal with it at all. Or drink more and kill more people. Great revenge in this one though. They did that well. Robert Duvall is in it too and his character is pretty cool. I liked it better than 3:10 to Yuma. Just a little bit. There were a few holes in the story, the one that I immediately noticed was how did the bad guys know Costner and Duvall were waiting for them at the wagon. A couple of others but they are no big deal. I laughed when Annette Bening's character said to Costner, "I'm not a little girl anymore". You got that right, I thought to myself, but its better to have the love interest be someone Costner's own age than some unbelievable teeny bopper fresh off the wagon or Joan Allen.
	7.5 out of 10

Drop and Give Me 20

I was doing push ups this morning (don't ask me why, I know my sporadic attempts at exercise are useless if not consistent) and my 4 year old walks into the room and says, "why are you doing girl push ups?"

"I'm not doing girl push ups."

"Yes, you are"

"No, I'm not"

"Yes, you are"

"These are not girl push ups Aaron"

"Yes they are"

"Nuh uh"

At this point I realized how silly I must have looked arguing with a 4 year old, like a 4 year old, so I gave him by best mature adult response.

"Whatever man"

Wedding Singer Revisited

I know I've posted this before, but I'd like to do it again. Sometimes I load it up in Winamp and repeat it for an hour. It probably drives Thing 1 crazy. Care not I.



For the embeddingly challenged:

Kill Me

Before and After

If you weren't convinced before that a black seat looks better than a red seat then feast your eyes on this.

Still not convinced? You have no soul. Of that, I am convinced.