The Crush

No, this is not a review of a movie from the early 90s starring Alicia Silverstone, but its just as scary.

Lurleen may have a crush on me. I don't know why I think that, its just the way she has been looking at me lately. And she's been cleaner too. My wife has taken great pleasure in rubbing it in also. Especially when I took my shirt off the other day while putting down mulch. "Oooo, maybe Lurleen is home watching you. Oooo, better watch out Lurleen is outside. Oooo, I'm a little bit jealous." Ugh! It was HOT out! Leave me alone.

This has nothing to do with The Crush, but her daughter won some pageant last weekend. The trophy she came home with is taller than me. No joke! She brought it out of the house yesterday when I was playing basketball to show me. Trying not to sound unimpressed, the only thing I could think to say was, "Where do you keep that thing?" Oh, and she must have said at least 4 times, "Juss wait till my daughter gets a modelin contract" or "When she's in the movies..."

I can't even stand to listen to her talk. Her voice becomes shrieky when yelling at her boyfriend or the kids she babysits or her own kid for that matter. All the country slang and the fact that I don't think she realizes the "g" at the end of words is NOT silent doesn't help either. Ahhh! Somebody buy my house. Please!