The "man" recently arrested for killing JonBenet just plain looks like a pedophile. He oozes child molester. If I saw him in my neighborhood, first I would write a funny blog post about him, then I would tell my family to stay away from him, and if he tried to engage any of us in conversation I would have my cat rip his throat out.So, anyway, I told you that because of my trip to Funtown/Splashtown on Saturday. It was my first time going there. I assumed it was lame, because it's in the state of Maine and that they had legislation requiring you to wear full face helmets on every ride. Anyway, they have this attraction in the Splashtown side of things called Pirate's Paradise. It's primarily for kids, but there were some adults who dared brave the icy water with their kids, myself included, but there was one heavyset 40ish guy wearing turqoise shorts and a polo shirt who just didn't belong there. He spent about 30 minutes working the controls to a valve that sprayed water out of the floor every time someone walked by. He avoided the dads of course. Creepy.
I couldn't stay in Splashtown very long, it was just too cold. The kids didn't seem to mind it too much. The one waterslide I really enjoyed was the black tube. It was total darkness on the way down and a lot of fun. The lack of a more exciting slide like Water Country's Geronimo was disappointing. Perhaps in the future they will add an attraction like that.
On the Funtown side of things, only two rides really matter much to me. The Dragon's Descent and the Excalibur. The Dragon's Descent is a 220 foot tower where you are brought to the top, hung up in the air to enjoy the views for about 10 seconds, and then dropped. It's a completely different feeling from any other ride I have ever been on and I loved it. Hats off to Johnny, a 9 year old kid who went on it twice with my brother and I, and my nephew who went on it once. Truth be told I wouldn't have had the guts to do that at 9. Canobie Lake has a similar ride called the Starblaster, although its not as tall, and they shoot you to the top and you freefall instantly as opposed to the Dragon's Descent's gradually climb and pause at the top. Since I haven't tried the Starblaster I can't say which I prefer but my guess is the Dragon's Descent just for the height factor alone.The Excalibur is a wooden roller coaster, but its new, having been built in 1998. It's not my favorite coaster of all time, but it beats the Yankee Cannonball at Canobie lake hands down.
Funtown also has the requisite Log Flume ride and a Galaxi roller coaster which they describe as "Maine's most exciting -- and breathtaking roller coaster." Hahahahaha...Excuse me. Here is a little more information about Galaxi coasters. I know that Canobie took theirs down, but maybe we could start a grassroots effort to save and preserve these legends of amusementdom. Or maybe you and I could go on a tour of the country and ride on every one of these beauties still standing and operable. Oh the stories we could tell! Hahaha ahahahaha.
Funtown is a good alternative to having to deal with the homies from Lowell that descend upon Canobie Lake every weekend. While it doesn't have the quantity of rides, its big money rides are as good or better than what Canobie has.
6 comments:
One of my most fun childhood memories was at Funtown. As I was waiting in line, I noticed one of the go-karts was faster than the rest, probably because the governor was loosened up. So I hopped in and lapped the entire field twice. My sister said old people watching from the fences were complaining because I was whipping by other kids and cutting people off. I kept riding the same kart until I ran out of money.
yuh. my ride on the karts was memorable only for the fact that i spent most of the "race" completely by myself because the field was so spread out. my brother did slow down at one point so i could catch up. we were cutting in front of each and pretending to run each other off the road and then i think the ride operators cut my engine so i could barely move for half a lap. bass turds!
Stupid new fangled technology.
tyler estabrook and i swerved around a bit on those, until the freaky lady in the tower yelled at me because he bumped me. the fiend.
i still don't know how saralena felt about the number of times i hugged you that day.
After seeing how busy your cat's been since I checked in last, I'd say it'd do a remarkably good job of ripping out a pedophile's throat.
[rubbing my eyes] skape7? is it really you?
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