Grumpy Old Shed

Got the double doors done last weekend. What a pain. Easily the worst part of the entire project. They came out ok. I'm not entirely happy with them. Maybe next year I'll spring for a nice set of steel double doors. Or not.

The frame of door #1.



It's made of twobafours laid flat.



Screwed together with 3 inch screws. I drilled two half inch wide holes (2nd hole not shown) about half way through the twobafour for the screws to go in. With the cross brace I attached later (cross brace not shown), the frames were pretty sturdy.



Door frame #2

Um. It's pretty much the same as the other one.



Now lets skip all of the pain and suffering that occurred whilst attaching hinges and hanging doors and trimming plywood and go straight to the finished product.





I know what you are thinking. Go ahead and ask. Here, I'll answer for you. I meant to do it. For reasons that seemed like a good idea at the time. If you have no idea what I am talking about then good.

Lyndon B. Johnson Sacrificed Chickens

I hate talking about politics. Mostly because I get very angry and inarticulate which just makes me look like a mouth breathing idiot. Then you think you are smarter than me and we can't be friends any more because I read "you dumb Republican Dubya lover" into every sidelong glance you pass my way and I just want to punch you and scream "I voted for McCain in 2000, you [expletive]!" So instead I just keep my mouth shut and cover my ears while you blather on to whomever you are conversating.

Disclaimer: I have no proof that Lyndon B. Johnson sacrified chickens to his god, but I also have no proof that he didn't.

Confessions

My neighbor has 6 cats that live in her junk. I like to throw stuff at them when she is not home.

Kip Journal 5/12/1999

Kip could take one sip of a margarita and tell right away if it had non-alcoholic triple sec in it.

Kip is a dink. Everytime I look at him I say to myself, "[expletive], Kip's a dink".

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Ramp to Perdition

A neighbor of mine tore down his deck and offered me whatever wood I wanted. Normally, I am the type to turn down such offers, because I hate hate HATE when people try to unload their trash on me. I scratched my head for a minute thinking and suddenly a little utility light bulb turned on above my head.

The ramp! Perfect.

I grabbed two 12 foot 2x10s and 6 pieces of decking and set to buildin' a ramp. The wood is old and a little beat up, but its not bad. Plus, it saved me about $50.

Step 1

Attach some small pieces of wood to the shed. These provide support for the ramp's joists.



Step 2

Attach ramps.

Cutting the angles for the ramps was easy using the same framing square technique I used for the roof rafters. I thought for sure I would screw it up. Not this time, evil shed gods, not this time.



Step 3

Attach the decking.

These boards were really weathered, but the flip side was (almost) brand new. Not bad for free.



I wonder if he has wood I could use for the stairs...

Postscript: In between steps 2 and 3 I added support for the bottom of the ramp and blocking in between the ramps. Somehow I forgot to take a picture.

Also, I stepped on a board with a nail in it. That hurt. It's been a while since I had a tetanus shot. The nail didn't go in very deep though. But then one of my wisdom teeth started to hurt which made my jaw really hurt. It's better now, so I guess I wasn't coming down with lockjaw. Too bad. I was hoping to call in sick. For a while.

Libby Grace Jefferson

Took a walk on my lunch break, as I am often prone to do, the other day and stopped at three locations on Church Hill, Jefferson Park, East Grace Street and Libby Hill Park. The views of the city from these points is pretty cool. Unfortunately, my camera and the hazy part of hazy, hot and humid didn't help either.

First up, Jefferson Park.

There she is. The tallest and ugliest building in Richmond. Heck, Virginia too. Maybe even the entire eastern seaboard. Something straight out of Leningrad. A couple of weeks ago, I visited the Never Built Virginia exhibit at the Library of Virginia, and while I have no photographic proof of it, the original plan for this, the ugliest building in America, was for TWIN TOWERS connected on several floors by bridges. Amazing, that somebody could design one of these monstrosities and then say to themselves, "my design is so awesome, it needs to be doubled in size."



Another shot, showing the VCU Medical school buildings. Nothing spectacular.



A view of Grace Street. That's where I will take the next pictures from. I'm not sure what that white tower is. Some sort of satellite/antenna/radio deal.



See, theres Jefferson Park. I'm a Jumper.



Ahhhhhh. Make it go away! It actually might be kind of funny to take a picture of that building every where I go. Its like a painting where the eyes follow you around a room. No matter where you are in the city, this colossal concrete tower of fug is always looming over your shoulder.





Libby Hill Park

Tobacco is king. Or used to be anyway.



Confederate Soldiers & Sailors Monument. My first thought was, "they had sailors?"



The view that named the city.

Nope. Won't Be Going There.

Article about a bunch of modern day hobos living on islands on the James River.

My most recent excursion to the pipeline is right near where these guys live and you can see the islands in some of my pictures. I was curious about the islands and was going to make my way over there one of these days.

Not so sure that would be a good idea.

Fabulous Movie Review®

Jumper
Remember how I mentioned the other day that I don't see as many bad movies nowadays because I don't have the pressure of staring at a wall of movies at the movie store because of NetFlix?

Then this baby comes in the mail.

I can always depend on my wife to add something to the queue which I've never heard of, starring actors I can't stand.

Don't get me wrong. I love to be pleasantly surprised. She's come up with a couple of good movies that I otherwise would never have seen (of course, there is also big wet farts like Heavy), but for the most part I welcome the diversion.

So, on to my eloquent review. Not quite a wet fart, this movie left a stink in the room regardless.

Samuel L. Jackson is in it which is good. Hayden Christenson is in it too which is bad. Rachel Bilson is in it too. I don't know who she is but I could hear her face creak when she smiled like my leather couch does when I sit in it. And she's only 14 or something.

Perhaps I am too harsh. This movie isn't that bad. It's just not good. The Hayden Christenson character should have died about 58 times by my count. Even for a movie in which you fully expect to quiet your inner "that can't happen" voice, it was just a little too much silliness for my liking.

Gagknee's Grade: D+

Battlefield Shed

In kind of a holding pattern until this coming weekend when I buy wood to make the doors. Sorry to disappoint all three of you. In the meantime I used up some of the leftover lumber to make a workbench and some shelves.





It gets mighty hot in there and I am already contemplating where to install an air conditioner. Thats next year. After I get electricity to it.

Speaking of Bats

This is actually pretty weird, all this talk about bats and bat men, but my cat, Papi, he whose killing exploits I chronicled for a year in my aptly named Bodycount posts, snagged a bat Saturday night. That's probably his most unusual kill.

Fabulous Movie Review®

Batman Begins
So, a new Batman movie came out a few weeks ago, perhaps you've heard of it, and everybody has been raving about it. Apparently, this is the second Batman movie starring Christian Bale. Who knew? Not I, friend, not I. Well, dangit, I can't watch the new one without seeing the last one...

How, you might ask, did Batman Begins escape my movie radar? No clue. Although I've tossed around a few theories*.

1. Generally speaking, I hate comic book movies, and with Netflix I have more flexibility with the movies I watch and don't get stuck renting something just because there's nothing else that I haven't seen. The problem with Netflix is that you can miss some movies that you might otherwise like since you don't have a giant wall of movies to stare at.
   
2. Batman & Robin sucked so bad that my brain went into survival mode and completely blocked out any memory of or desire to see anything Batman related ever again.
   
3. Katie Holmes. It was around this time that I made the life affirming decision to never ever watch another Tom Cruise movie for the rest of my life. Perhaps, at that time my zealotry extended to her as well. I can't remember, but it seems plausible.
   

Saturday night was designated Batman Begins night. I settled down with a bottle of Legend Pilsner and a big bowl of popcorn (popped on the stove, not in the microwave, and not Jiffy pop either, jackass). To say I was excited would be not far from the truth.

Ok, enough already. Here's what I thought (stolen from thesaurus.com):

Batman Begins is excellent, a-one, admirable, blue-chip, bravo, bully, capital, choice, classic, estimable, famous, fine, first rate, generous, good, great, magnificent, matchless, meritorious, nifty, outstanding, peerless, prime, select, spiffy, sterling, stupendous, super, superb, superior, superlative, terrific, top-notch, tops, transcendent, unparalleled, unrivaled, valuable, wonderful, worthy.

Gagknee's Grade: A

*It's #2, in case you wanted to know.

Has it really been almost 20 years since Michael Keaton first starred as Batman? Incredible.

Fiddler on the Shed

You know the best part about roofing? When its all done.

I don't mean that in a facetious way. Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly I mean that it's pretty simple, although a bit physically tough, and hard to screw up, and when you are done it looks really good.

I understand why traditionally roofers are the most intoxicated of our country's tradesman. It's pretty boring work, and the buzz helps kill the pain in your calves.

Front side in progress, but mostly done. Had a little help from a friend which was appreciated.



New tool for the job, roof jacks. These suckers were only 8 bucks each at Home Depot. Money well spent. The roof is an 8/12 pitch, which simply means it is hard not to slide off.



Done. Finished on Sunday in between and during torrential downpours. As long as there's no lightning nearby...



I'm not sure why that last picture looks like crap. Must be my neighbor's aura seeping onto my property. Or my son messed with the camera. You decide.

Shawshed Redemption

Not much done, I was outta town and low on money, so I installed something I already had. Windows!

Man. They look sooo small. Oh well. Perhaps they'll look better after the trim and paint is done. Besides, its just a SHED.

Back to the Pipeline

Decided to relive my drearm a couple of days ago and revisit the pipeline to see how the river has changed since March.

It's a lot different with foliage.




The water is a lot lower too.









Last time around I was stopped at this point by the water.





The pipeline takes a sharp left up ahead and goes out into the river a bit. If I wasn't wearing work clothes I could have waded out there. Instead I walked through the woods.

See how the water is calm in this picture? That's because the pipeline makes a little dam of sorts. There was a homeless guy swimming in the river just out of the picture. I was afraid I had spooked him because he started to come out of the river after I took the shot. I repeated a silent prayer over and over, "Please don't let him be naked. Please don't let him be naked."



There was actually a couple of homeless people encampments in those woods. I was a little spooked. Especially after a youngish looking dude with huge dark circles under his eyes popped out from behind a tree. My "how's it goin'" was met with a cold stare. Guess he don't speak Yankee.

Cool shot (to me) of the Manchester Bridge. The lighting is harsh. I'm no professional.



And last but not least, this bridge that was burned down after they fled the city during the Civil War.

The Chicken or the Egg

This little baby made my heart flutter when I spied it during my "internet perusing while waiting for some program to load" time this morning.

http://richmond.craigslist.org/mcy/767677333.html

If I hadn't sunk all of my money into the shed I could get it, but then if I hadn't built a shed, I wouldn't have anywhere to keep it and work on it. Ah, well. Others will come, they always do.

Here's a coupla pictures in case the craigslist ad goes away. Its a 1978 Honda XL175.

Neighbor's Lawnmower Fetish Exposed!

I didn't get them all. There's a riding mower under a tarp and at least one other junk push mower on her patio, but I caught an earful from her the other day about trespassing on her property, and I'm afraid that I would burst into an expletive-laden rant if I ever have to speak to her again.

This is what I see outside my kitchen window. Grow lilac bushes! Grow!



Lawnmowers in the pale moonlight. I like the purple one with the bicycle wheels.



In the pile of junk in the driveway.



Lawnmower hide-n-seek. Found you! Oh wait a minute...is that poison ivy? It would explain the rash I've had on my legs the past two weeks. The riding mower is under that blue tarp. She actually asked me to fix it, and I could use it, as long as I mowed her back yard too. I was considering it too, until she accused me of bringing a "whole bunch of people" onto her property. Bag.



I call this one "Emasculated Mower".



I'm not going to tell you why I call it that. Art is meant to be interpreted.

Fabulous Movie Reviews®

Cloverfield
Ew. The cinematography made me nauseous. Nah, I kid. Good movie, but not great. I like that it was filmed from the perspective of the characters, camcorder style. However, the cameraman was kind of a shipdit and I am glad he died. Too bad his death wasn't more dramatic like my cat tearing apart a mouse or a bird or a vole.

It was really short though (that could be good or bad based on your ideas of how long a movie should be). I wished it would have been longer, or at least that the first 30 minutes of getting-to-know-the-characters time had been used for more running-from-the-monster time.

Gagknee's Grade: B-

Semi-Pro
Jeez louise. If you know anybody who told you this movie was bad before you saw it, raise your hand.

Worse than Talladega Nights, Not even semi-funny, I laughed not once. NOT ONCE.

I'm so disappointed in you, Mr. Ferrell. It'll take more than Stranger than Fiction 2 or Elf's Revenge for me to every say you can carry a movie again.

Can't really blame the guy though. We all do this at work. Sometimes we take the easy way out. At the end of the week you're going to get paid, whether you convert some 25 year old COBOL banking software into a .NET web app or if you spent all your time downloading new extensions for FireFox. As long as your productive weeks outnumber your lazy weeks you're good, right?

This is your mulligan, Mr. Ferrell, your lazy week (er, movie). Now get back to work!

Gagknee's Grade: D

Boogie Sheds

Trim's all done around the roof. Not relishing the idea of banging in nails upside down on a ladder, I opted to wait on doing the soffits because I ran out of nails for the framing nailer.



I hated doing the siding on the gables. Theres some trick to it that I don't know. Anyway, I have some gaps where my angle was off. Ah, well. It will be covered by trim eventually.



The tar paper and drip edges went up to. Just in time for some big rain storms. I just hope the tar paper doesn't come off before I get a chance to shingle.



Drip edge is a pain too. Especially when its windy out.

Shingles, doors and windows...almost there.

Opening Day Starter - Red Sox 1997

Fabulous Movie Review®

Walk Hard
Any movie that has full frontal male nudity should have a disclaimer right on the DVD itself under the title.

If you insist on watching this movie anyway and choose to not see some dude's junk, the scene where this occurs is pretty easy to spot and you will have plenty of time to cover your eyes.

All that being said, this movie is pretty good. I was pleasantly surprised. It is not laugh out loud funny, but the type of movie that you think back on and chuckle at some of the lines and screwy plot situations.

Was it worth being permanently scarred with the image of some random johnson? No. But luckily for you, you have me to warn you.

Gagknee's grade: C

Holy Crap!

But before you get too excited like I did, she didn't get rid of the truck. It was towed to a mechanic to fix.