Simpsonized

I finally took the time, almost two months later, to Simpsonize a couple of pictures using the only two pictures I have of myself.


























Can't say I am much impressed with either, perhaps with the 'stache.














Incredible.

New Guy at Work

The new contractor just started today. After 20 minutes with me, I can't imagine whats going on in his head. "WTF" is probably close.

I can't sugar coat it.

No new development. A plethora of VB6 apps that break daily for no reason whose source code is not up to date.

A perfect job for a recent college graduate itching for some real world experience.

It doesn't get much more real world than this, baby.

It's Got to Go

I hate the layout and colors of my blog, but I can't decide what to do with it. Who cares really?

What...Is Are Those?

My apologies to all the sensible people out there, but of what are those made (hehe, nice grammar), clay?














Gross.

At Work

A program that runs automagically crashed yesterday evening. A problem with a query. "Incorrect syntax near 'WATERHEATER'" was the exact error. Mmm. Informative.

This morning I needed to fix that error. Pulled up the source code, ran it in order to debug it. Got a different error. Type mismatch. Hmm, that's odd I say.

I start to root around in the program, trying to figure out this new error. Oh wait, I see, at one point in the program we have a 16 element array and at another point it is 11.

To make a long story short, the source code that I have in source safe, the ONLY source code that I have, is NOT the same as what was used to compile the last executable.

That big pile of crap on my desk just got a little bigger.

Fabulous Movie Reviews®

Shooter
Featuring Dirk Diggler as an Army sniper who loses his best friend and decides to live way out in the mountains all by himself with his dog.

Pure unadulterated action movie. That's all this is. Oh, don't get me wrong, the story's not half bad, but it only serves as a necessary evil between all the explosions and kickassery. A very entertaining movie.

Gagknee's Grade: B+

The Hills Have Eyes II
I liked the first The Hills Have Eyes (the remake) and I gave it 3.8 stars out of 5. This one just plain sucked. The dialogue was awful. The characters were pulled straight out of the Stereotyper's Bible. Two white guys, two black guys, two girls and one Hispanic (actually one of the girls was Hispanic too). A lot of "cracker" and "homes" and "i'm a woman and therefore better than you" thrown around. Wow. Original. The story was lame, and there wasn't one scary moment. No tension. Nothing. Bad, bad movie.

To directly quote myself yesterday whilst talking to the Help Desk, "Pretty lame. Pretty laaaame."

Gagknee's Grade: D-

The Simpsons Movie
Wow. WOW. I went into the theater not knowing what to expect. Oh sure, people told me it was good, but since when have I put any stock into what people say? Well, those people were correct. It's the funniest thing to come out of Springfield since Clinton was the President. If they could guarantee the high quality of this film, then they should cancel the TV show and just concentrate on making a movie every other year.

Gagknee's Grade: A

Camping Tales

Went camping last weekend. It was fun. I love to camp. The last few times that I have gone however the temperatures were a bit cooler. Those weren't family trips, just strictly Rubbed (haha. I love old nicknames. (really old, like 9th grade old.) I was Andscrew. Our other friend was Russhole, the best nickname evah.) and I.

October 2001. In the George Washington National Forest, specifically Tasker's Gap, after four wheeling all day getting wet and muddy, we discovered the temperature had dropped to an unseasonable level for Virginia and we shivered the night away in our summer weight sleeping bags. Miserable. The riding wasn't even that good because I blew a tire that day, and the next day, after almost dying in the cold, I threw a camshaft bearing.

May, 2002. First year at Hatfield-McCoy, we stayed at the Twin-Hollow Campground. While I will never say anything bad about the residents of West Virginia, that first foray into the wilds of their state for two Northerners (I will never call myself a Yankee) was a little bit scary. Especially when we couldn't understand their language. We've adjusted since then. Anyway, the weather at that time of year was perfect. And unlike the previous camping trip and subsequent camping trips where we had to subsist on a diet of cured tubed meats cooked over flame, we were able here to ride into town to get decent food, but we still ate plenty of sausage in the evenings.

November 2004. Again with the George Washington National Forest, but this time we started at the Pedlar trail system. I was nervous, and I packed accordingly. Last time I camped in this area it was a month earlier and freakin' cold. No need to worry, we were fine this time. It probably didn't get colder than 40. The only trouble we had was finding firewood in the dark when we arrived in order to cook our meat tubes. Man, they were good.

But anyway, my most recent camping trip was with the family and we went to Pocahontas State Park which is about 20 minutes south of where we live. Very family friendly, albeit boring, complete with four pools and two water slides. The only problem was the oppressinve heat. When it's a 100 its hard to sleep in, on or around a sleeping bag. Period. Other than that, it was good. And I made sure to ingest a healthy quantity of tubed meat. It was really hard to get a fire going in the humidity though. It took up to an hour of me babysitting the fire, coaxing it and telling it that it was the best fire in the world, before it worked up enough coals and caught on to some bigger pieces of wood to not need constant caring over.

Oh, I forgot to mention, while camping last weekend we saw several of these Skinks crawling up and over and around our tents and nearby trees. Apparently, they are pretty common.

At Work

"Let's give him as little information as possible, use as much financial mumbo jumbo as we can, act like the fate of the company is in his hands, and ask him to fix a program he has never seen or heard of, let alone written, which is performing a function he doesn't understand because he's only been here for 3 weeks and has never had any Dividend department training, and then ask him every 15 minutes how its going."

eff off.

Multiplied by five, the number of people who did this to me today. Oh yeah sure, suck it up, gagknee, you say. You're makin' the big bucks. Oh yeah, why don't you say it to my face? (hehehe, I'm kidding, I just like to repeat 6th grade playgroundese (then we would shove each other a few times before grappling into a mutual headlock)).

GIS Journal 6/7/1999

My supervisor always seems mad at me. I don't know what I am doing wrong. Hopefully, she won't get me fired.

Not A Fabulous Movie Review®

I started watching The Sentinel, twice, never a good sign, and I immediately spotted David Rasche, the President.


David Rasche!



DAVID RASCHE! TV's Sledge Hammer! My favorite show when I was in seventh grade. I've been meaning to get it from NetFlix, but I am afraid. Some things are better as happy memories. Like Welcome Back, Kotter, my favorite show when I was in fifth and sixth grade. My dad didn't like that show. I still remember vividly him saying, "It was banned in Boston!"

The Joys of Home Ownership and/or Fatherhood

My house has had several plumbing problems that I've had to fix since we moved in. All of them caused by poor workmanship (lousy plumber). But last night, my plumbing problems were caused by youngest son.

A little toy train was flushed down the toilet and got lodge inside. I bent a coat hanger so that it had a little hook at the end (for hooking the toy), but after 15 minutes that proved futile. So I dismantled the toilet in hopes of pushing the object out the other end.

Eventually I was able to get the train out, and the toilet back together. And it didn't leak when I was done. Nine times out of 10, in plumbing, if you take apart something that is working perfectly, with no leaks, it WILL leak after reassembly. This was my 1 time out of 10, I guess.

Haha

I stumbled upon this while reading something else on The Onion. I'm a little (very behind) on my Onion reading because I can't read it at work.

Link to The Onion. It makes fun of Ben Affleck.

At Work

There are always certain people at work who drive you nuts. All you have to do is see their face. They don't even have to speak in order for you to cringe and/or hide, and usually they each have their own personal catch phrase. Here are some of my coworkers catch phrases, past and present that make me shiver and sometimes wet my pants:

"Quick question for yuh"

"It's doing this and this and this. Why?" or simply "Why?"

"Recompile the kernel"

"We've got a problem"

"Whudya find?"

"Heeey, Andy"

"What would it take to..."

"I need you to fix my problem"

"Do you see what I mean?"

"That just can't happen"

"Why does it do that?"

"You got anything for me?"

In and of themselves most of these phrases are pretty innocuous, but I associate each one of them to a specific customer/user who has haunted me over the past ten years.

When I resigned from a job in Manch Vegas where I worked for three years, my boss said to me, "It's not because of Larry, right? Because there will be a Larry in any company you work for."

Obviously, I knew that, and its not the reason I quit, but it's true. Every company has its Larry.

At Work

I tend to write programs based on what I would like to do rather than what I am supposed to do.

Boss #x: Did you go through that list of programs of which you know nothing about, dissect the code, and determine if it can be remediated?

Me (What I said): Phew, wow, all that stuff, it's such a maze, this program connects to that program and this program, and this program also feeds into this database. I'm trying but it's gonna take a little time.

Me (What I was thinking): Nah, as far as I am concerned all of your programs can be remediated, I spent the day writing something in vb.net to parse these gawd awful text files that our system generates and tomorrow I am going to do it in C#. Why? Because.

Not Just for Prospectors Anymore

For the first time in my life I find myself shopping for a pickaxe (I actually edited a small portion of this wikipedia entry (my first time ever doing that) because the grammar was just awfuller than anything I have read in recent memory).

I have a lot of gardening (I don't like that word, old women garden). I have a lot of yardscaping to do, and once you get below the topsoil the ground becomes hard-as-concrete clay. Digging through that with a Walmart spade is a bone jarring exercise in futility.

I recently removed
several Helly, err, Holly bushes from around my front steps. Now, there are many varieties of Holly, some of them, like the actual trees, are nice, but mine were almost deadly. The spines on the tips of the leaves are sharper than any thorn. They easily went through my leather gloves. I had one of these spines go through my fingernail. THROUGH it. The actual fingernail. That hurt. Another spine went into a knuckle and the tip must have broken off under the skin. The knuckle was swollen and purple for a month.

Anyway, I was glad to finally have these bushes gone. But now I have to replace them. I've been to three different nurseries, but my head just spins at all the choices. I'm leaning toward some mixture of dwarf crape myrtles, hydrangeas and other assorted small flowering plants.

Holy crap. That's enough talk about flowers for one post. Drink beer! Woohoo!

Getting back to the pickaxe...

It's a really dangerous looking thing. What if somebody is dumb enough to sneak up behind you whilst swinging it?

Fiberglass handle or wood?

Definitely gotta make sure I get the 5 lb head.

And in other tangents, Lowe's's website has issues with Firefox. Idiots. I don't have an example for you, because now it is working, but I swear it wasn't a minute ago. Don't make me go back to Home Depot.

Bodycount 2007

I really should put the little red table back up.

The total is now 19. He killed a vole. I'm surprised he hasn't killed more. They have extensive burrows all over my back yard.

People are disgruntled at work

It's not just me and many of them are quitting. I can't wait until its my turn.

In other news, it was over a 100 degrees again today. I think I'll empty the icemaker into the kiddie pool while I watch TV.

One of my neighbor's cars (they have 6, 3 working) caught on fire. Apparently, the sun reflecting off the mirror ignited a pile of mulch.

Our cat, the one who disappeared for a month still isn't quite right. Probably suffering from post traumatic stress. He's very skittish and he has to be forced to go outside.

My daughter is watching Rachael Ray.

Today someone from my old department asked me if it was possible to do such and such. I nonchalantly told him, "Yeah." When I completed the task 15 minutes later you would think that I saved his granddaughter from a burning building. He was that excited. On and on he went about how much time I saved him. Later on in the day, he told me he and some of the other people in his group were "happier than pigs in sh*%" and "they've been looking for something like this for years." To which I replied, "I sat right next to those people for 9 months, all they had to do was ask me." But its just another example of why this job has been so frustrating ("Hey! Let's hire a programmer to fill out user request forms! Brilliant!"). Well, the old department anyway, the new department is frustrating in other ways. Like having a giant pile of poop dumped on your desk frustrating. It's not too bad most days though, except those days when there is an endless parade of whiners in and out of my office. If they offered me a sizable bonus (pretty dang sizable) to stay until the lights go out, I probably might not.

This guy who asked me to do this, he's alright, but I get a vibe from him that he probably has the largest collection of Asian porn in the South. Weird, I know.

My Thoughts on Today's Red Sox Game

I never thought I would ever utter these words in my lifetime: Gagne sucks.

I didn't think we needed him, and now he's blown our bullpen's chemistry and effed up two games.

In other thoughts, J.D. Drew. Well done.

Thanks for Nothing

Sorry for another work story, but I lead a pretty dull but angst filled life.

Yesterday, Thursday, apparently was designated "wear whatever the &#%! you want day" because of the 100 degree+ temperatures and the fact that our building is a dump and the AC doesn't always work.

The problem is nobody bother to tell me.

I show up wearing a long sleeve shirt (I've got some kind of allergy skin thing going on right now so I've been wearing long sleeves to keep from scratching) and khakis and everybody else is wearing flip flops, tshirts and shorts!

The last time I was that mad was when a previous boss told me to put down my pop tart and start making him some money.

Today was "wear whatever the #@$! you want day" too. Luckily, some people let me know. Its amazing what a little brute force and/or stealing their keyboards will do.

No flip flops for me but there is something about shorts and a t shirt that is so liberating. I do own a pair of flip flops, but I rarely wear them. My wife doesn't understand why. "What if I need to make a quick getaway or run away from some thugs?" Can't do that in flip flops. "What if I feel like whipping out my spade and digging a hole?" Can't do that in flip flops. The list of things I can't do in flip flops is too long to justify wearing them very often.

Kittyfish

Here I am with a catfish I caught three weeks ago with Rob in the James River.














Why am I wearing gloves you ask? Because catfish secrete poison from their skin. Duh.

No, really, I had no desire to stick my bare hand into an animal's mouth who could literally swallow said hand whole. The glove on my right hand was merely because I didn't want to look stupid wearing only one glove.

I also caught a really big goldfish, err, carp, that day. It had teeth as big as me. I dragged it to shore and we safely removed the hook with pliers.

Random Quote from a Coworker whose Name I Do Not Know

"Theres a problem with the weeklies. I see that this one was supposed to pay on the 8th but it didn't build"

Huh?

WTP!

That was a pretty crappy ending to what have should have been a good baseball game.

My Thoughts

1. Wily Mo Pena shouldn't have been batting in the 8th against the curveball chucking Bedard, but, hey, it worked out.
   
2. The Orioles really should have left Bedard in rather than go to their bullpen.
   
3. Gagne should have been taken out before he faced whatever left hander that was batting for the Orioles.
   
4. J.D. Drew. Can't hit. Can't field.
   
5. Okajima shouldn't have pitched the 9th. Papelbon should have been. It's a must win in my book, considering you already knew the MFYs had won.
   

Boo.

Thats What Happens

My neighbor dragged me over to her yard yesterday (I made the crucial mistake of making eye contact) to show me the squash and watermelon plants they have growing in various and random places in their yard.

She seemed excited about it, so I didn't rain on her parade by telling her that they should mow more than once a month.

Snakes on a Plant

Doing some yard work the other day, and a snake slithered out of a pile of dirt and roots that I was raking up. About 8 inches long. Still made me jump though. In telling this story to numerous people, the snake was described by me as looking "kinda like a big worm."

Well lo and behold, the mighty Eastern Wormsnake:

Fabulous Movie Review®

Breach
I haven't been in the mood to watch movies much lately, preferring to pass the evening hours with Lost season 2 and Simpsons season 9, not too mention the free couple of weeks of Extra Innings that I had, but I did manage to watch this movie. Even though I had never heard of it and didn't have high expections it turned out to be pretty good. Its based on that guy who sold information to the Russians a few years back, Robert Hanssen.

Chris Cooper, one of my favorite character actors, plays Hanssen. Also starring is the man who cheated on Reese Witherspoon.

Its not half bad. I guess thats all I have to say. 3 1/5 stars out of 5.

Wagonmaster

I want one of these, a Chevy Caprice:








or one of these, a Buick Roadmaster:











The 1994-96 models came with the LT1 V8. The same engine in the Camaro of that time.

New Job

I started my new job in the other department last week. Because I am a positive type guy I will start out by listing the good qualities of my position.

1. My own office
2. 21 inch LCD monitor

Now for the bad.

1. Too numerous to list.

These people in the new department are animals. A bunch of wolves. Savages.

Today somebody came into my office all in a tizzy. I don't even know this freakin' woman's name. She was going on and on about record dates and expiration dates and firm dates and pay dates and the program did something automatically and wah wah wah. I didn't know what to say or even what program she was talking about (they have dozens of ancillary programs written in every language under the sun from vb6 to python to PHP), so I said the only thing that popped into my head, "Do I look like I know what the difference between a record date and a firm date is?"

I Sweat, Therefore I Am

Its hot here right now. Real hot. The kinda heat you never get in New Hampshire, let alone for 3 or 4 days in a row.

The air is so thick and humid its like a fog and it limits your visibility. I went out yesterday afternoon and the neighborhood was completely deserted. Not a soul outside.

So, I took the opportunity to do some yardwork without having to worry about the neighbors talking to me.

It's a Christmas Miracle!

We pulled onto our street tonight and there in the road was a black cat! "That's Papi!" I declared.

A month he has been gone. He doesn't look too bad. He lost weight but other than that he's the same as he was when he disappeared. His flea collar is still on even.

Two girls across the street later told me they found him that morning in the storm drain and they fed him some bologna.

Welcome back. I could have used you last weekend when I found two snakes in the yard whilst landscaping. Get back to work killing vermin and such.

West Virginny

How weird is it to find a building that looks like this in the middle of nowhere West Virginia, also known as Pineville pop. 670. Here's another shot of it (I didn't take this one).

Bite Me

I ordered several new computers for a couple of consultants that just started. How many complaints did I get because the new people have LCD monitors and we are stuck with old CRTs? Too many to count. Look people, I don't make the rules.

I knew this would happen...

When I started here there were three "technical" analysts serving 2 departments. Two of those analysts were in the other department and I was the lone analyst in my department (we share a common upper manager).

I don't remember if I posted about the other guy leaving a couple of months ago, but now the other one told me today that she is leaving. That leaves me hanging in the wind. I don't even have access to alter tables in their database or even execute stored procedures. And there's no guarantee the powers that be in IT will even give me those rights. They denied me before. They'll probably have to now though.

A few good things might come out of this.

• I might actually get my butt in gear and actually start to send my resume out again
  
• I will get access to a SQL Server and not have to use crappy Access for my projects.
  
• I might actually get good projects to work on now. Especially if the upper manager moves me from my department to the other department.
  
• The burden of submitting user request forms and fixing PCs and answering stupid questions like, "why is my cpu so slow?" or "can you set me up to print to that printer? it's closer to my cube" might cease.
  

We'll see. The best option is the first one anyway.

Dear Blog,

I missed you so much and I am glad we are back together.

Love,

Me

Neighbor Quotes®

I have some interesting neighbors on either side of me. The ones to the left are the trash collectin', fussin' and feudin' kind, but they don't talk to me, so that's good. The ones to the right are the loud, boisterous, too friendly for their own good kind. And of course, for good measure, they have kids the same age as mine, which makes it harder to avoid them (I maintain the Northern tradition of ignoring people).

Anyway, I want to start keeping track of some of their quotes and other foibles, a la Lurleen. I need nicknames for them too. Hmmm. I'll have to think about that for a bit.

So yesterday, I finished mowing my lawn. Its a big lawn, similar in size to the neighbors, and they only mow half of theirs, which they tell me is to keep kids from cutting through and because of snakes, specifically copperheads and water moccasins (their words which they've told me on several occasions).

The thing is though, I haven't seen any kids cutting through and isn't it better to remove snake habitat rather than provide the perfect place for them to live? Not too mention rodents.

Hmm. RIP Papi. I can't even think about rodents without getting all choked up about Papi. I wonder if he met his match with a snake or something.

Oh jeez, I digress. So next door neighbor comes up to me and she says, "I can't believe y'all even mow all the way back there. We don't. We did it a few times, but its just not worth it."

Indulge me for a moment while I poke a big fat hole in that statement. They have a riding mower (more on that later), so in terms of effort (I have a push mower), ehhh, I label thee lazy, and NOT worried about snakes or transient teens.

Crazy rednecks. Think I can't remember a previous conversation, compare it with a current conversation and come up with a conclusion? Ha. I may not be able to add double digits in my head, but there was a time when my verbal skills were top-notch.

I still haven't come up with nicknames, well, one. Cooter. The neighbor's boyfriend. His laugh is a dead ringer for Roscoe P. Coltrane (coo coo coo), but that name doesn't fit him in any other way.

As far as she goes...man, I have no idea. She's almost attractive but her voice (and roots and other stuff)...it's a bullhorn...a shrill suicide inducing vocal assault that makes me want to vomit whenever I am near. Maybe I will search Greek mythology for a proper nickname.

No New Development

The company I work for announced a while back that they are merging with another well known company from the midwest and that our corporate headquarters will be be moving to a well known midwestern city.

My first thought was, "Whooptiddydo", when I heard the news. Truly, I couldn't care less, although it sucks for people who have worked for the firm 5, 8 or 10 years, but they will generously compensated, so, whatever.

Anyway, I got a direct order from my boss the other day, the same guy who doesn't understand the difference between an interface and a database, told me NO NEW PROGRAMS when I asked him if I could do such and such.

"That's fine," I casually responded, "I haven't done anything really worthwhile since I've been here anyway."

Uncomfortable silence. The sound of cicada's buzzing loudly in trees (not too many crickets chirping here)

"Well, alright then, talk to you later," I said.

Crap with a Hint of Crap

A perfect spiraling mound of dog poo. That would be a good idea for a piece of novelty of candy.

In Other News...

Papi the Cat, blood thirsty killer, aloof friend, purveyor of the classic claw to face 5 am wake up call, is MIA. We were away last weekend and asked someone to feed him and our other cat, a recent new addition named Trixie. They let him outside and apparently he never came back. Who knows when they came back to check on him.

Is it Sunday already? We should go check on the cat.

We've been hoping he would turn up, but he hasn't as of yet, which is not a good sign.

And moles the world over rejoiced!

Just for the record, since I last posted a Bodycount update, he had killed a bird and a mole.

No TV and No Internet Make Andy Go Something Something

Its been a month since I had cable or internet. I didn't really mind too much, but it would have been nice to post to my blog once in a while.

I'm stuck with this ridiculously overpriced Comcraptic internet right now. For some reason I can't get DSL at the new house.

Crap with a Hint of Marshmallow

I bought this confectionery creation because it looked cool and thought the kids would be impressed. It wasn't made out of a Circus Peanut type candy, however, it was marshmallow. And it was vile and disgusting. I should have just given my dollar to the homeless guy that I talked to that day while sitting in traffic.

Kip Journal 5/7/1999

This journal entry was made by someone a little bit on the edge. It wasn't me :). I tried to edit it to not offend young children but not take away from the story. Ed.

I have witnessed first hand the twisted voyage that a Kip story takes from its inception to the point at which you believe he is full of s%&#. Please read the example below which took place yesterday, May 6.

It was in the morning about 10:00, when Kip was having an issue with Harry M., the full details being irrelevant, relating to data ports being activated on a drop in Andover for Allen F. Kip had to call Harry because this was a priority 1 issue. The real story begins at the point that Kip hung up the phone with Harry.

Kip hung up with Harry and proceed to tell all of us, mainly Jared, Tom and I, about how Harry had been grumpy about having to do this, and if they wanted it done today they should have called sooner. Harry then stated that he wasn't going to do it today, they would have to wait until tomorrow. Chris asked him at this point to call the people back and tell them that. Harry said yes, he would.

This is the most accurate account of what actually transpired that morning. I remember snippets of what I heard of the phone conversation and thats about how it went down. No anger, just minor annoyance. Then Kip tells the story to some contractors, and the story gets bigger and more intense. Harry said this, and I TOLD Harry that, and he was all pissed off and stressed out and stuff, was about how Kip Story Ver 2 sounded.

Somebody else came in and of course the story was embellished further; all of the preceeding details and some more anger thrown in. Harry doesn't care who Allen F is. And Chris said YOU WILL call them and tell them you aren't coming today, its NOT my responsibilty, and on and on.

Another version of this story was released later on about early afternoon, I believe. And it involved more anger, and Chris acting more firm and tough, telling Harry M. how to s&%# and where to s$#@, and nobody effs with Kip K. because he is a baaad assss.

When John B. [help desk manager] arrived the story was beginning to sound like a news report of gang warfare in East LA. Chris went up to John, like he was some bad assss em ef who was 2 minutes short of getting jiggy with Harry's head, all talking s%$# and b&$%#es, and said, "just to let you know, I had it out with Harry M." And he walks off acting all tough and s$%#. And of course he had to repeat the story one more time. I wasn't listening but I swear I heard something about his wife and some midget goat trainers..."

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Fabulous Movie Reviews ®

The Good Shepherd
Whoooweee. The man is cold. I couldn't imagine having that much devotion to my country. It's a little slow and you have to pay attention (well, I did), but it's worth the effort. Any movie that stars Matt Damon and does not feature Ben Affleck as well deserves extra points too. An even 3 stars out of 5.





Children of Men
Wow. Great concept. Superb characters. Great mood, excellent cinematography and awesome set design. I loved this movie from start to finish. 4.3 stars out of 5.

Bodycount 2007: While I Was Away

1 snake, 5 moles, 1 bird.

Also, today he brought a live bird into the house which proceeded to poop and bleed and have feathers removed all over the house which my wife unfortunately had to clean up. On her birthday no less.

Even though the bird was removed from our house alive, I am giving him credit for it.

The total for Bodycount 2007 is 16.

Missin' You

I love my blog. I love posting to my blog. Even if nobody ever read it I would still enjoy it. My semi and fully retarded attempts at humor, which may or may not be be funny to anyone else, are funny to me and thats why I do this. When I was in high school and college my favorite assignment was a short story. Most of those are saved in a box in my attic.

It sucks that I can't throw up (no pun intended) a post during work during a lull in my Administrative Assistant duties. I can't remember all of the inane and retarded things that happen during the day, and I've been extremely lax in writing stuff down to post later.

Remember the movie Awakenings where the good doctor determined that the people couldn't move because their muscles were essentially cancelling each other out (give me some slack, I haven't seen it in over 10 years and I don't feel like consulting IMDB right now)?

I've got nothin'. Ordering mouse pads, scheduling meetings for managers, filling out move request forms, gathering "metrics", answering my boss' email for him...I'm done. I give up. My career is in neutral. And I don't feel much like doing anything else.

Bodycount 2007

A couple of days ago Papi the Cat killed a mole. Total for 2007: 7

Update: Another mole. Eight kills.

Kip Journal 4/28/1999

Kip is out all this week. It has been, relatively speaking, peaceful.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Surprise. Surprise.

You Are Oscar the Grouch

Grumpy and grouchy, you aren't just pessimistic. You revel in your pessimism. You are usually feeling: Unhappy. Unless it's rainy outside, and even then you know the foul weather won't last. You are famous for: Being mean yet loveable. And you hate the loveable part. How you live your life: As a slob. But it's not repelling as many people as you'd like!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

I'm just glad I wasn't Bert. He was a homo.

Fabulous Movie Reviews®

Rocky Balboa
Probably the sappiest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Still, though, it was 10 times better than Rocky V. It may be better than Rocky II or Rocky IV, but, honestly I don't remember either of those two very much.

Rocky III has always been my favorite. I saw it at the Strand Theatre with my dad. "It's the eye of the tiger..." I drew Mr. T. cartoons in my notebooks for months and even made a Mr. T. puppet in art class.

I liked how they worked the flashbacks from previous movies into this one, even if it did contribute to the sap factor.

Two things that I would like to point out as good qualities of this movie. One, he did not end up having a romantic relationship with the not unattractive single mom half his age, and two, he didn't win the fight. If either of those two things had been different, I would have hated this film, but instead I say, it's not bad. 2 3/4 stars out of 5.

The Science of Sleep
Ever heard of it? Nope. Didn't think so. These kinds of movies have a way of seeking my wife out. Was this one bad? Nah, not too bad. Was it the weirdest movie besides Altered States that I have ever seen? Yes. 2 3/8 stars out of 5.

Television I Saw, Because I Was Compelled To

Repeats. I 'ate'em. Especially when they are surrounded by new episodes of other brand new shows, because those lousy TV execs know that we are going to watch it anyway. Bass turds.

If you aren't watching 30 Rock or don't think it's as funny or funnier than The Office then there is something wrong with you. Perhaps your parents were mean to you.

1. 30 Rock
2. My Name is Earl
3. Scrubs
4. The Office

That episode of The Office was amazing. The first time I saw it. Obviously, since I've seen each episode of the first 8 seasons of The Simpson's at least a dozen times each, I'm not afraid of watching stuff that I've already seen watching stuff that I've already seen watching stuff that I've already seen watching stuff that I've already seen, but see my first paragraph.

Bodycount 2007

A bird and a mole. Total: 6.

Thats What I Get

I misplaced my iPod. That's what I get for my heat of the moment post about iTunes.

I'm sorry boy. Please come home. I'll make it up to you. I promise.

Kip Journal 4/26/1999

Kip is in New Orleans this week. I can't wait to hear what kind of stories he'll conjure up from this trip.

It's sad. I'm almost out of Kip Journal entries. A part of me is dying inside. Ed.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Friggin' iTunes

I love my iPod, but I really hate iTunes. It annoys me.

Hooray, for Virginia!

We got our Virginia state income tax refund today. They told us that we made a mistake and our refund increased. Wow. Hooray for Virginia. Although, when we lived in NH we didn't have to pay income tax.

But in Virginia the meals tax is 6% less! Hooray for Virginia. Oh, but New Hampshire has no sales tax. Hmmm. Our gas costs 6 cents less per gallon! And we didn't buy any heating oil this winter.

Ugh. But electric rates. Thats gotta hurt. Nah. Sixty percent cheaper.

Did I mention property taxes? Its probably better if I didn't.

Ricky, Take Down Jack

then, my cable cuts out. Stupid wind.

Faster Pussycat Kill Kill

He got a bird today. I'm gonna need to put the Bodycount 2007 table up and take down the Squamscot one.

Irony, I Art Thine B

Itch.

In a bizarre twist of fate, my Google Spreadsheet where I keep track of my Access Denieds at work, is now denied also.

Television That Has to Be Watched

Man. Tough Week to rate the shows. They were all excellent.

I think I have to give the nod to The Office this week though, but it was very, very close.

1. The Office
2. 30 Rock
3. My Name is Earl
4. Scrubs

Eat. Sleep. Kill.

My cat lives the dream. He killed a mole on Sunday. That's 3 for Bodycount 2007.

Phew.

The scene from my porch this late afternoon. It was still pretty cold out, but above freezing at least.

Wow.

The scene from my back porch this morning. Go ahead and laugh at me. I can dish it out and I can take it.

Fabulous Movie Review®

Syriana
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
1 1/2 stars out of 5.

Spring Resolution

100 sit ups by my 33rd birthday in 2 months and 2 days. That's my goal. Knee's bent, hands on head, in one set.

33 sounds so much older than 32 and I am distressed that my shorts from last summer are tighter than before.

I don't know how many I can do right now. Tomorrow morning I will make an attempt and set the benchmark.

Update: 26. That's how many I can currently do.

I Will Not Eat Green Eggs and Ham ~ Charles Dickens

A talking head on the Comcast Sports Net just quoted Edgar Allan Poe as saying, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

I Love 30 Rock

The Office was good too, but if 30 Rock gets cancelled it will be a bigger travesty than Arrested Development, because at least AD had enough seasons to make watching it on DVD worthwhile.

Muscles

I decided today around 4 that I wanted to eat mussels tonight. Luckily, they had them at my local Kroger. Ironically, they were from a farm in Maine.

Good Friday

I have tomorrow off from work because the stock exchange is closed. Why couldn't the stock exchange close the day after Thanksgiving?

I wanted to ask my boss if I could work tomorrow in exchange for a floating holiday because I need a lot of time of in the next couple of months, but the turd takes a couple of days to respond to email and he wasn't in his office all day.

Did I just call my boss a turd? I meant a turrific guy.

MASN

I watched an Orioles game on this god forsaken sports network last night. Anybody ever seen the Somersworth High School Toppers on Channel 12? Thats about the same quality of telecast as MASN.

Heaven help me.

Hey, guess what though? The Red Sox are on ESPN Sunday and there is NO danger of it getting blacked out here. Thank goodness its not Tavarez pitching.

Apple Software Update

42.9 MB for an iTunes + Quicktime update?? Yeah, I've got a fast connection, but are you out of your freakin' mind?

Baseball

I am involved with not one, not two, but three fantasy baseball leagues this year. In previous years, I could get a lot of my lineup shuffling and free agent picking up during lunch or breaks at work. This year I can't and I am questioning whether or not I made a good decision in joining three leagues, one of which I paid $65 bucks to join (the winner gets 50%, 2nd gets 25%, 3rd gets 15%, and 4th gets 10%).

Anyway, it's a little weird being away from the Red Sox for the first time in my life. Even though I didn't have NESN for the past couple of years, at least I had the local news and AM radio, but now that's centered on the Nationals and the Orioles and the AAA Braves.

I would consider signing up for the Extra Innings packing from Comcast but since that is moving to DirectTV, well, I dunno if I want to go in that direction. There's a certain convenience that goes along with cable, plus I like to pay basic cable rates and see what kind of extra channels I can get for free, which to date has been significant. All of the major networks, and Discovery (Planet Earth rocks, except for Sigourney Weaver telling me from her crystal Hollywood palace that the reason the polar bear has to walk through slush is becuase my Dakota only gets 18 mpg).

I'm watching the Angels vs. the Rangers on ESPN right now. Its weird to hear Sean McDonough, former voice of the Red Sox, doing other work. Why was he fired again? I don't know. I don't think anyone else does either, except for those who did the sacking.

One Score and Four

Ricky!

Love that Ricky Shroeder.

Why do all these evil people think they are just doing whats best for America?

You'd think they all went to Lyndon B. Johnson University and majored in Political Science with a minor in Diabolical Studies.

I don't like Lyndon B. Johnson in case you didn't know, and if you are my friend and have engaged in any type of political discussion with me, you've probably heard me say that "Lyndon Johnson was the most evil President this country has ever had." Variations include: "LBJ killed JFK", "LBJ killed RFK", "Lyndy covered up for Teddy". I could go on and on.

Oh wait, this was about 24. WTH with Wayne. "Ohhh, I don't want people to think I am weak and question my manhood." Whatever... You already proved you have titanium testicles when you willed yourself out of a coma and received not one but two shots of liquid cocaine.

Hey what happened on Prison Break this season? I only watched one or two episodes this season. In my opinion in not only jumped the shark, but killed it with its bare hands, fileted, barbecued and served it over brown rice with a garden salad, but the final 30 seconds of tonights episode looked pretty interesting. Especially, the guy who looked like Bellick having a seizure on the floor. I guess I will rent the DVD.

Pretty Good Week

I had a surprisingly pretty good week at work. The new cube definitely cuts down on walk-ins.

The first half of the week I built a "dashboard" for my boss in ASP.NET. My web skills have gotten rusty in the past 5 months. The first few hours of this project were torturous. I downloaded a free graph control, actually I downloaded two. The first was more customizable because it included the source code, but I didn't have the time or wherewithal to make it do what I wanted. So, I eventually went with the 2nd choice. It seems silly to me that I would have to use free stuff when I work for a multi-billion dollar company.

The second half of the week I wrote a program in Visual Basic 6 that will screen scrape the mainframe and then compare the results to another screen on the mainframe. It was an interesting exercise.

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

After killing a snake and bringing a live mouse into our house which he proceeded to torture and slaughter this week, I am considering reviving the body count. Bodycount 2007.

Fabulous Movie Reviews®

The Upside of Anger
An interesting movie and not too bad either. If you watch it though, and don't like it, don't blame me. I have one complaint, the star of the movie, Joan Allen, really needs to gain some weight. The muscles in her neck were distracting. 2.8 stars out of 5.





Flushed Away
Some of the jokes were "the oldest in the book" but kids don't notice things like that and it was probably the first time they heard the jokes anyway. Its funny and has a pretty original story (unlike that borefest Cars). 3 stars out of 5.





Stranger than Fiction
First of all, let me apologize to Will Ferrell for saying he can't carry a movie. I loved this movie from start to finish. I'd watch it again. Highly recommended. Also, I decided while watching this film that Maggie Gyllenhaal is not attractive. 4 5/8 stars out of 5.

Saturday Fun

We took advantage of the nice weather on Saturday and went to Belle Isle and the Canal Walk in Richmond.

I took a bunch of pictures. Here are a few.









There were people actually swimming here and using the rope swing before I took the picture. I'll be back to try it when the weather is a little bit warmer. The current was pretty strong there. As soon as you hit the water you have to start swimming back.



You can make out the foot bridge that is used to cross the river to get to Belle Isle. I thought I had taken a better picture of this, but I was having issues with my camera. It malfunctioned a few times. I blame the Ray-o-vac batteries.

Inside Pictures

Its not much, I got them from the appraisal. I had to take screenshots of the pdf.

The upstairs bath. Not a master bath but the master bedroom does have its own entrance to it.









The downstairs family room









The kitchen

Restaurants To Go

A list of restaurants to which I would like to go (in no particular order):

• Crab Louie's
  
• Qdoba
  
• PF Chang's
  
• Kabab Grille
  
• Mama Zu
  
• Capital Ale House
  
• Legend Brewing Co.
  

I forgot one: Carrabba's Italian Grill

Must Not See TV

No Office. No 30 Rock. Earl repeat.

Sorry, Andy Barker. NBC is selling you short. I doubt that I will be watching tonight.

Note to NBC, not that you care, because I know that you don't, but a better strategy for marketing new shows might be to sandwich them in between two good non-repeat shows. Non-repeat is key. I don't know. Maybe.

Same thing with 30 Rock. I heard that it has low ratings and might get cancelled. Ohh, but its got the Scrubs lead in you say. Ohh, but you screwed Scrubs in its early years so it doesn't have the audience that it should either.

If you were really smart, and you're not, you would do something like Earl, 30 Rock, Office, Scrubs.

Anyway, buh-bye, I'm off to Lowpot.

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me!

Two strikes against me this morning when I came in at 9 found out my boss had been looking for me already, and then when I went into his office and "apologized" for not coming back to me work on Friday after my home inspection and he looked at me disapprovingly.

Hey, first of all, nobody told me when I started here what time I was expected to arrive and until somebody does, I'll arrive when I want. I'm not cheating your multi billion dollar company out of 100 bucks a week. In fact, I'm actually doing a couple of hours a week pro bono. And second of all, there is no second of all.

I sound like the worst, most disgruntled employee ever, but in reality I'm not. I am polite to my coworkers. I go out of my way to help them even if it is outside the "parameters" of my job. I do what I am told and I learn quickly.

I'm not punctual though. It's not something I mention in the standard, "What are some of your faults?" question during an interview.

Theres a technical analyst in another department that is closely related to my department. He's been doing this for three years, so I am supposed to collaborate with him on stuff. This guy, he's alright, but he is kind of a blowhard, and a little condescending. For example, he's got it in his head, despite interviewing me and having a copy of my resume, that I am some guy who got a certificate in web design from the University of Phoenix, and by luck of the gods got this great job. Ooo. Long sentence. Where was I? And he feels the need to over explain everything to me. Its to the point where I avoid him at all cost.

The other day he was at my desk showing me some VB6 code he just did. He said, "Ok, now. I want you to look at that function. Go ahead and..." And when I right-clicked and went to "Definition" before he was finished his sentence, he said in a perfect Sesame Street voice, "Heyyy, alright look at you. You're gettin it." I must have blown his mind when I later clicked "Last Position."

He won't give me access to use his underground web server. Any changes to the SQL Server database must be made by him.

My boss has had this project on his mind since I started here. Actually he mentioned it to me in the interview. A dashboard. A place where he could quickly see all his most important stats in one place.

Five months later we are still ironing out all the details. Five months. He finally decided on TWO different stats. Just two. And he wants it to be a web page. Great. That means going through Mr. Hooper.

Mr. Hooper tells me that he can set up a Sharepoint site for me. "That'll be great for you to customize!"

If my life was an episode of Scrubs at that point the scene would cutaway to me flipping his desk over and bashing him over the head with his 21 inch LCD monitor.

Would you ever talk down to a colleague? I don't. Not even to the people who double click a link.

Four in the Morning

I wake up a lot at or around 4 in the morning and cannot fall asleep again sometimes for hours. Each time this happens after about 20 minutes I swear I am going to go out into the living room and watch TV or catch up on the dozens of web comics I read, but that never happens. Stubbornly clinging to the hope that I can eventually fall asleep before my alarm goes off, I just end up tossing and turning, my mind racing from inane topics to the larger issues that a 30 something father of three faces in daily life.

I realized today that I always sleep better on the couch. Within minutes of resting my head on the armrest I am running around in the land of chocolate in my mind. So, I decided that the next time I can't sleep I am going to do one of two things, one, if its a worknight, move immediately to the couch upon self diagnosis of a sleeping problem, and two, if its a weekend night, load up the ATV in the truck and drive to West Virginia and go riding.

Kip Journal 4/22/1999

If Kip says, "Permission to..." one more time, I cannot be held accountable for what may transpire.

"Dude, I'll recycle you!"

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

This wins the award for the stupidest thing Kip has ever said.

There is apparently a web cam on Bourbon St. in New Orleans. Kip said he memorized the spot and he is going to go moon the camera.

Jen's going to babysit one night while they are in New Orleans and Kip is going to go try to get arrested out on Bourbon St.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

24

Yay Ricky!

Love that Ricky Schroeder.

Again, I ask how did Powers Boothe come to be the Vice President. He's too evil to have been picked as a running mate by Palmer.

Good episode though. Great actually.

Audrey being killed in China that was a good twist. Although, if I was Jack I would have kissed first (his ex-sister in law) and asked questions later.

Cleaned Out My Memory Card

And I found these pictures from January. My wife took them while I was at work. Very creepy.

New House

A picture of the house we are set to purchase. I'll be spending my summer painting the outside and landscaping. The inside has already been completely remodeled courtesy of the flipper who purchased it for 100 grand.











What I don't understand is, how do you get foreclosed on a home you purchased in 1975 for 38 grand?

Kip Journal 4/21/1999

Today in the internet betterness meeting, kip kept his mouth shut.

I've noticed for a long time that Kip walks like a weirdo. I don't know why but today it just ticked me off and i wanted to kick him in the nuts and slap his face many times.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Fabulous Movie Reviews®

Saw 3
Much, much better than the 2nd Saw and as good or slightly better than the 1st Saw, I will give this one 4.001 stars out of 5.








Underworld
Due to the nonsensical plot, I'm guessing that this movie was probably based on a comic book. Not only that but it had a lot of bad acting. I didn't understand the significance of a vampire/werewolf hybrid. Is it because he is impossible to kill?

Some people who never go outdoors probably loved this movie and are salivating at the return of Kate Beckinsale and the werepire in Underworld 2. I am not one of them. 1 1/2 stars out of 5.

Home Inspection

We had the home inspection yesterday. Nothing out of the ordinary except for a couple of faulty light switches, but those are like a buck each at Lowpot.

I got to get out of work early which is always nice, although I did fib a little and tell my boss I might be back.

No pictures yet. I probably should have brought my camera yesterday.

There's a creek in the backyard that turned into a rushing, um, whats in between a creek and a river? Well, it was pretty high with the torrential downpour we had all day yesterday. No danger of it flooding my house or anything but the back third of the yard was pretty soggy. Probably don't want to locate my shed back there.

I can't wait to hang my TV on the wall.

Television Seen Before and Not Seen Ever

That was one of my favorite episodes of The Office, and had 30 Rock been on tonight (nbc sucks) it would have still been ranked #1.

I'm not sure about the Andy Richter show. It wasn't bad, but unless it's in a time slot where I am already watching TV after this one episode I wouldn't be seeking it out just yet.

The Andy Bernard character on The Office is great, but I, and several other people the I know, didn't know what happened to him after this episode. He kind of vanished. Little did we know that we had missed the little epilogue telling us that he was in anger management. Looking forward to his return.

In other news, in French class in high school my French name was Bernard. My first name is Andy.

Benefits

One of the benefits of working at my company is a cheaper mortgage. In theory that sounds great, but in reality when you compare what they offer an employee to what other banks offer any dope off the street, you realize that there is no benefit to getting a mortgage through your employer, and one more supposed "benefit" is crossed off the list.

Continued

What I was trying to say in this post was that I can never find a car or truck when I am actually looking to buy one, and I was in the midst of a similar situation since we had just started looking for a house. After a few duds and less than stellar prospects I was just a little discourage because it always seems like there are tons of good houses out there, except now.

But that is all moot now because after looking at 8 houses in two nights we put an offer on one. We had 3 that we really liked. Or I should say, I had one I really liked and my wife had one that she really liked. The third one was our compromise house. We both would have been okay with it.

Unfortunately, that house went pending after three days on the market and before we could put an offer on it.

So, we put an offer on the house my wife liked, and it was accepted. It was only on the market for 2 days and there was another offer on the table.

My house was prettier and had better curb appeal, but her house was 15 grand cheaper, completely remodeled on the inside and had a much bigger yard.

Plus, her house has some really sketchy neighbors that I will be able to use for blog content. I miss Lurleen and Butch sometimes.

Funny thing my wife said: "Maybe we can get the county to make them clean up their yard."

My retort: "This is Virginia, not Marblehead, Mass"

And God bless the Commonwealth. Of Virginia. Not Massachusetts.

Twunny Fo'

It was good to see the return of Rick(y) Schroeder to network television last night on 24. To this day my favorite season of NYPD Blue was the one he was in. Good stuff.

As far as the rest of the episode goes...that show should be 2 hours long. Give us 12 episodes a season. Better yet. Do it American Idol style. Three episodes a week. You bass turds.

Television That Must Be Seen

It's hard to form an opinion when most of the lineup was repeats. I'll do a better job next week regardless.

This week, there were 6 episodes. And in my opinion I guess it should be ranked something like this:

1. Office Episode 2
2. 30 Rock Episode 2
3. 30 Rock Episode 1
4. Office Episode 1
5. My Name is Earl
6. Scrubs

Today

I got to program from 4 until 5:30. It was beautiful.

Hmm, You Don't Say

"Hey, did you know that your last name is French?" said the woman at work.

Many Hats

I know that I said I was too tired to finish the last post, but I need some angst release.

Currently my duties at work include:

1. PC Tech - my computer is slow, my drives aren't mapped, hook me to that printer, etc.

2. PC Coordinator - (similar to a PC tech, but lower on the totem pole, like Help Desk without phones) getting new user accounts, getting people access to a multitude of crap, getting new hardware

3. Business Analyst - (while the current BA(BO) is out.) Determining the business, automation and technical needs of the department and determining how to meet those needs.

4. Project Manager - Getting the requirements and scope of any of the previously mentioned needs and coordinating with vendors and IT or the technical analyst (Me :)) about those needs and creating the schedule for development and testing and release.

5. Programmer - Working with the BA and PM in determining feasibility and timeline and scope for development of software projects (unfortunately I can never agree with myself or myself) and then creating prototypes, testing and release.

5a. I have 6 projects on my plate from 5 different supervisors/managers. One is almost done. The other 5, in a perfect world where I could actually work uninterrupted 4 or 5 hours a day, are at least a month's worth of work each. Of course everybody wants their project to be the highest priority and with no real higher authority above me to dictate priority I have to pick "who I want to piss off the least".

6. Liaison with the (I CAN'T CALL IT BY ITS REAL NAME) Expensive Software Analysis team to stay abreast of the $5 million software project for the department since I've been informed that I will be one of the system admins for it.

6a. The Expensive Software Analysis team consumes three hours of my day. Every day. 9 to 12.

Going to California

My entire life, most of it anyway, I always had the philosophy that when you are actually looking for a car there are none to be found that fit your criteria, but when you currently have a car that either runs or you owe too much on it, then it seems like there are a lot of "good" deals out there. With one exception, my 1982 Buick Regal. I was driving the Ford Empo at the time. Not looking for a new car, and no intention of buying a new car, I happened to drive by the Hilltop Chevrolet lot and I spied way in the back the most beautiful car of all time. A two tone '82 Regal. After whipping into a frantic u-turn I found a sales guy, hoping that it was a trade in or something. The first sales guy I found said that it was his and he had just bought it at an auction.

I test drove it. A week later I had begged, borrowed and stealed the thousand bucks I needed to buy it. (Remember when a thousand bucks was almost impossible to come up with?)

Best. Car. Ever. I wish I could have kept it.

Anyway, back to raison de post. It seems like whenever you aren't looking to buy something there are tons available, but when you are ready or desperate to plunk down cold hard cash (or credit i.e. many years of your life) the market vanishes.

(to be continued, I'm tired)

For Sale by Idiot

I don't get the whole For Sale by Owner craze. Yeah, you are going to save yourself 10 or 20 grand or more in commissions, but when you put an ad in the paper and it says, "House for sale. 3 or 4 bedrooms. Must see. Call XXX-XXX-XXXX", you are not really doing a good job. I wouldn't call. You could be a man-rapist for all I know. You didn't specify a price, address, subdivision, style of the home, or a picture. How do I know you aren't some crazed lunatic who is going to pick me off with a 30 aught 6 when I come up the driveway.

But besides the fear of crazies, it's hard for the prospective homebuyer to find your house. I don't even bother. Occasionally I might pull up a few of the FSBO websites but its a pain, there are many and none of them have all of the same listings. It's so much easier to pull up a realtor site that is on MLS. You know you are getting the same listings that someone at some other realtor site is getting (usually). Also, it seems that a lot of FSBOs have a greatly inflated sense of what their house is worth, which is discouraging right from the start.

I love the FSBOs that just have a red and white "for sale by owner" sign in their yard with nothing else but a phone number. Ooo. I can't wait to get home to call that number...How about a price? Or maybe a listing sheet from a little box by your sign?

One of the great things about the internet is being able to search instantly for home s in a wide area with any conceivable criteria. See a picture, check the price, get the address and then drive by it to get a look see. If you like it, make an appointment, if not keep going.

Basically, I'm just annoyed because I am afraid that I am missing a good deal on some FSBO out there, but in deep down I know that I am not.

Carouselambra

Do you ever feel guilty when your boss gives you a pep talk and he asks you if you have any issues that you want to talk about and you say, "No I'm all set", but deep down you just want to spill your guts about the big black guy who harasses you whenever the printer farts, or the scary hillbilly chick who sweats on your desk when her mapped drives mysteriously unmap themselves, and rant how about how you used to do this kind of crap 10 years ago for 11 bucks an hour and the benefits that seemed so good on the surface really suck (adoption assistance??), and your boss is talking about long term plans for you (i.e. 18 months +) and how he believes the entire department and the $5 million software initiative depends on you and all you can think about is "if i can make it 6 months and only have to pay back half of the lousy 2g's (before taxes) they gave me to come here."?

Fabulous Movie Reviews

I'm a little behind in my Fabulous Movie Reviews® so I've got four. Luckily, they all left me speechless in some degree or another so it should all be pretty simple.

The Da Vinci Code
Huh? 1.9 stars out of 5.

The Time Machine
Ohhhhkay. 2.3 stars out of 5.

The Departed
Whoa. 4.71 stars out of 5.

American Haunting
Whaaa? 2.49 stars out of 5.

P.S. I thought accents in The Departed were good, except for the trollop psychiatrist-type person. She sounded baaad. A combination of Rhode Island, Bronx, Long Island, Minnesota, Maine, and North American Slut.

P.P.S. Recently we watched a video of a wedding from 1987 and I was in it reading scripture. I was surprised to hear my own accent. Yeesh. Not to mention the leather tie I was wearing.

See, TV, Must

In order of good to bad, with 1 being the best, in my opinion of course.

1. 30 Rock
2. My Name is Earl
3. The Office - This was a repeat. The other three shows might have been repeats too, but I had never seen them. If I had never seen this episode of The Office, I would probably bump it up to #2.
4. Scrubs - it was funny when he poked fun at sitcoms that are lazy and do flashbacks. That didn't save it from the 2nd straight week at #4.

Warm Weather Is Good, Says I

The nice thing about warm weather is that I can sneak out of work early because I don't have to put a jacket on. I can just quietly slip my keys into my pocket, lock my computer (but leave the monitor on), and just saunter out like I am just going to the bathroom.

In other work news, I found out my boss lives in Bumpass. That is cool. I should move there.

This guy gave his notice today. No matter how much I hate a job, I NEVER want to be the guy who people rejoice, literally dance in the cubicleways, about when I quit.

Another work week completed another 2 hours of programming performed. So thats 5% of my time spent programming. Yay. I am getting so tired of the headhunters calling me at all hours of the day.