Saturday, May 19, 2007

Crap with a Hint of Marshmallow

I bought this confectionery creation because it looked cool and thought the kids would be impressed. It wasn't made out of a Circus Peanut type candy, however, it was marshmallow. And it was vile and disgusting. I should have just given my dollar to the homeless guy that I talked to that day while sitting in traffic.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Kip Journal 5/7/1999

This journal entry was made by someone a little bit on the edge. It wasn't me :). I tried to edit it to not offend young children but not take away from the story. Ed.

I have witnessed first hand the twisted voyage that a Kip story takes from its inception to the point at which you believe he is full of s%&#. Please read the example below which took place yesterday, May 6.

It was in the morning about 10:00, when Kip was having an issue with Harry M., the full details being irrelevant, relating to data ports being activated on a drop in Andover for Allen F. Kip had to call Harry because this was a priority 1 issue. The real story begins at the point that Kip hung up the phone with Harry.

Kip hung up with Harry and proceed to tell all of us, mainly Jared, Tom and I, about how Harry had been grumpy about having to do this, and if they wanted it done today they should have called sooner. Harry then stated that he wasn't going to do it today, they would have to wait until tomorrow. Chris asked him at this point to call the people back and tell them that. Harry said yes, he would.

This is the most accurate account of what actually transpired that morning. I remember snippets of what I heard of the phone conversation and thats about how it went down. No anger, just minor annoyance. Then Kip tells the story to some contractors, and the story gets bigger and more intense. Harry said this, and I TOLD Harry that, and he was all pissed off and stressed out and stuff, was about how Kip Story Ver 2 sounded.

Somebody else came in and of course the story was embellished further; all of the preceeding details and some more anger thrown in. Harry doesn't care who Allen F is. And Chris said YOU WILL call them and tell them you aren't coming today, its NOT my responsibilty, and on and on.

Another version of this story was released later on about early afternoon, I believe. And it involved more anger, and Chris acting more firm and tough, telling Harry M. how to s&%# and where to s$#@, and nobody effs with Kip K. because he is a baaad assss.

When John B. [help desk manager] arrived the story was beginning to sound like a news report of gang warfare in East LA. Chris went up to John, like he was some bad assss em ef who was 2 minutes short of getting jiggy with Harry's head, all talking s%$# and b&$%#es, and said, "just to let you know, I had it out with Harry M." And he walks off acting all tough and s$%#. And of course he had to repeat the story one more time. I wasn't listening but I swear I heard something about his wife and some midget goat trainers..."

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Fabulous Movie Reviews ®

The Good Shepherd
Whoooweee. The man is cold. I couldn't imagine having that much devotion to my country. It's a little slow and you have to pay attention (well, I did), but it's worth the effort. Any movie that stars Matt Damon and does not feature Ben Affleck as well deserves extra points too. An even 3 stars out of 5.

Children of Men
Wow. Great concept. Superb characters. Great mood, excellent cinematography and awesome set design. I loved this movie from start to finish. 4.3 stars out of 5.

Bodycount 2007: While I Was Away

1 snake, 5 moles, 1 bird.

Also, today he brought a live bird into the house which proceeded to poop and bleed and have feathers removed all over the house which my wife unfortunately had to clean up. On her birthday no less.

Even though the bird was removed from our house alive, I am giving him credit for it.

The total for Bodycount 2007 is 16.