Friday, October 31, 2008

The Office, Earl, 30 Rock and that other show

The Office redeemed itself this week. Nice hat tip to Nashua, NH. I was hoping they would show some landmarks. Or maybe they did. I was carving a pumpkin and didn't have my on the screen the whole time. The Cornell bit was good and did you catch Pam saying she covered up the mark her ring makes with make up (or something to that effect)? I'm just going to ignore the whole Pam sub plot. Its tiresome.

30 Rock is brilliant.

Earl, solid as ever. Their writers have great imagination.

The other show, I'm not sold on yet. Perhaps in time. Good line from the girl with baggy eyes, "why didn't you come up with craigslist?" (or something to that effect).

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Stink Update

I had to swap out the shorts and t-shirt I've been using for riding my bike. They were pretty ripe when I put them on yesterday. It's not warm out anymore, so maybe I won't sweat as much and I will be able to wear these for a full two weeks.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Bacon, Lattice and Tomato

Sunday was a beautiful day and I was able to get more done on the lattice.

First up was filling in the space around the stairs.

Stairing at the back wall I decided that there was a lot of usable space under there for storing stuff, like my ladder for instance.

So I left a gap in the middle where I will make a small door.

A closer view underneath. The kids were playing under there after they got tired of painting. Watch out for black widows!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Lattice Pray

I'm wearing my wigger jeans tonight. Thats it, I just felt like saying "wigger".

Went out to Home Depot last night and got myself some lattice. The stuff is a pain in a neck to load into a vehicle. It catches on everything. Luckily, a nice couple came over and helped me load it. They startled me, and I jumped and let out an involuntary "holy crap!". At least I don't scream like a girl.

Sweet sweet lattice.

Unfortunately when I woke up this morning at 6:30 (thanks kids) it was raining out. Kind of a bummer, but at least it was warm.

I set the kids up with paint brushes and had them begin to prime the shed while I began working on the lattice. We had to take frequent breaks for sudden downpours.

The first thing I had to do was rip a 2 x 6 into 3/4 wide strips to use as trim on the lattice skirting.

The slope of the yard adds a degree of difficulty to this operation. Here I snapped a chalkline, which I didn't bother to do on the other sides. Waste of time.

I had no idea what the best way to cut this crap is, but I settled on snapping a chalkline and using the jig saw. A circular saw seem like overkill.

Test fitting the first pieces that I cut. As you can see it doesn't line up with the chalkline, which is why i didn't bother with the chalkline any more.

Test fitting the other side. At this point I was thinking, "oh CRAP. How do I do the stairs?"

Attaching the previously ripped 3/4 inch strips of wood.

The rain slowed me down. This is all I got done today. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice.

It was raining pretty good out while I was attaching the two sections of lattice in the previous photo. The battery in my cordless drill was dead and I was using the corded one. I was a bit nervous about getting electrocuted. Not nervous enough to stop working though...

At this point it was time for dinner, so I called it a day. I was going to cook flounder and I decided that I wanted to fry it. Unfortunately, I tossed the filets in confectioner's sugar instead of flour. It wasn't bad though. Not as bad as when a couple of weeks ago while stir frying some chicken I dumped in a half a bottle of crushed red pepper. I took the cap off and thought it had one of those sifter things on the bottle. It turns out the cap is the sifter thing.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Kinda Sorta Final Cost

So, I tallied up the cost of the shed. I say "kinda sorta" because obviously its not done yet, but I know exactly what I need to finish it and I included those costs in my calculations.

$2,058.32. If I still lived in NH with no sales tax it would have been $1960.30. But then, who knows, lumber costs may be higher in the granite state.

If you are interested in the breakdown, I entered it all into a google spreadsheet.

I think I made out alright. Go check out your local Lowe's or Home Depot and see how much they are charging for something of lesser quality. Plus, I had something interesting to do over the summer.

My Summer Reduced to a Pile of Trash

Gonna start adding up my receipts for the shed project. These are all of them. Except for that CVS one that somehow slipped in there. I guess it wasn't ready for the trash yet.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

dirty laundry

I brought my mountain bike to work last week and I've been riding on my lunch break. My wife thinks its gross, or was it disgusting, that I wear the same shorts and t-shirt everyday without bringing them home to get washed.

I thought I was doing her a favor by not bringing home more dirty laundry every day. Laundry that I only wear 5 hours a week. Less than I wear one regular outfit. I'll never understand women.


Last night at 3 am while sitting on the couch calculating how much lattice I need for skirting on the shed and watching some stupid show on E! (it was either that or an Extenze infomercial) about money making actresses (cash cows I think they called them) and their $7 million apartments in New York, $6000 a night hotel stays, and $15000 wedding gowns, I had an epiphany. Raise taxes on the middle class? Small businesses? Evil Corporate America? Big Oil?


Raise the effective tax rate on any member of the Screen Actors Guild to something north of 60%. Way north. And being the good liberals most of them are they should be glad to do it. Its their patriotic duty and the fair thing to do. No deductions either.

Note: I did zero research for this post so if they are already paying 60% I stand corrected. Somehow I doubt they are, which is why I didn't do any research.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Not the Best Way to Make Money

Some crazy drunk guy called me a faggot this morning. Totally unprovoked. He didn't even ask for money.

Friday, October 17, 2008


For my New Hampshire friends...recognize anything in this.

On the Record

I will go on the record as saying that I believe The Office has jumped the shark. Not sure if jumping the shark is even a hip term anymore, but whatever, last nights episode sucked and I don't see the plot lines getting any better.

When's 30 Rock coming back? Can't say I'm too excited about the prospect of Megan Mullally guest starring.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Black Widow

Yesterday at work a guy started out a story with, "I had a dream that there was a black widow in my bed," and I interrupted him and said, " you mean the spider?"

I thought that was pretty funny, but finding a black widow, the spider kind, in my living room wasn't nearly as so.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Tired of Movie Title Puns


All three stringers present and accounted for, sir!

I had to build a support for the stringers. Pretty simple really. I could have had the top step of the stairs level with the floor of the shed, but I didn't want to do that.

Stringers attached, 4 out of 5 blocks down.

Finished! The blocks aren't perfectly level and I dunno if bolting the blocks to the stairs was necessary...

Meanwhile, while I'm working on this, the neighbor has a ramp truck back into her back yard to pull out an old junk car. If I hadn't been there watching they would have run right over my lilac bushes.


Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Presidents with Facial Hair

I'll vote for the next guy who runs for President who sports facial hair of any kind with preference given to those with beards or mutton chops over mustaches. With goatees being popular for well over a decade now, you would think at least one politician would have the courage, the moral fortitude, to grow one. But then, we are talking about politicians and sadly moral fortitude is not a job requirement.

Speaking of mustaches, it's a shame that they have received such a negative connotation in our society and I fear because of the stigma attached to them they will never again achieve mainstream popularity. Too bad. Some great men have sported a 'stache. Like Magnum P.I. And that old guy in Misery whom the evil Kathy Bates blasts with a shotgun.

Anywho, here is all of our country's Presidents who chose not to let a razor touch their skin.
Benjamin Harrison
Uncle Jesse?
Chester Arthur
Had his mutton chops trimmed for this photo unfortunately. I saw a few pictures of him where mice could inhabit those chops. Unfortunately the pictures were of lesser quality
Andy Sipowicz, oops, Grover ClevelandJames Garfield
Hands down, my favorite beard. Kind of an urbane hillbilly look. Dignified yet dangerous.
Abraham Lincoln
The only President brave enough to don the beard with no mustache. Courage. Pure unadulterated courage.
Rutherford Hayes
Where James Garfield is dignified and dangerous, Hayes is more crazed and homicidal.
Theodore Roosevelt
What can I say? Easily the most boring of this bunch.
Ulysses Grant
Classic hobo look. I can only dream.
Martin Van Buren
Courageous or just crazy? Gotta love it though. Nobody in this day and age would ever look like this. Too bad, really.
William Taft
Hands down the best mustache. A contemporary of Roosevelt, you know he just had to grow a better one. Rivals they were, I bet.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The People Under the Shed Stairs

Not much accomplished this past weekend. I gotta kick it up a notch so I can at least get a coat of primer on this thing before winter sets in, so expect a flurry (pun intended) of activity in the coming weeks.

Sunday afternoon I managed to start my stairs. I got sidetracked however and didn't really get anything done.

Future home of the stairs. Yes, the blocks are not level. I haven't set them in the ground yet.

Layout of one stringer on a piece of 2x10. I spent hours consulting web sites and books and drawing this on paper to make sure I got it right. Yes, your eyes deceive you not, my framing square is rusted. Its hard to see when its lying on the ground and it got left out in the rain.

One stringer done. I thought for sure I would screw it up somehow, and then have to make up some excuse about how I meant to do it that way, but luckily it came out perfect. Yes, my handsaw is rusted. Its hard to see when its lying on the ground and it got left out in the rain. And no, I did not cut this entire thing out with a handsaw. I slapped a new blade in my much maligned circular saw and zipped through it like butter. The handsaw is just for finishing the inside corners.

Two more stringers to go and then I can start attaching them to the shed.


The book that I just finished reading, Suttree, is the first library book that I have ever cringed at touching and felt the urge to wash my hands after reading. It's a well worn paperback and the velvety texture of the cover feels like the perfect breeding ground for all manner of nasty germs. Someone should invent a machine that, like for combs at the barber shop, zaps all of the foul critters. I couldn't eat my lunch and read at the same time. Lunch first, then read.

To top it off, the last person to check it out used a piece of a Camel Menthols carton as a bookmark, and someone else in its sordid history of being used and abused by the unclean felt it necessary to circle all of the big words. And put a little star next to the paragraph where they left off, because finding your place again is a tough job.

I'm being purposefully adumbrate about the plot of this book because I would not want to spoil it for the next person who skulks out of his crepescular existence to borrow this book.

The Angels

I was never worried about this series. They won a hundred games playing against the likes of Seattle (61-101), Oakland (75-86) and Texas (79-83).

Admittedly, I am not able to watch many regular season games, but I had no idea that Jon Lester could throw so hard. I pegged him as a typical curveball chucking, 91 mph "heater" lefty.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Ivy of the Poisonous Persuasion

My fourth case this summer (err, I guess its not summer anymore), not as bad as the last and none as worst as the first.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Fabulous Spaghetti Western Review®

Corri uomo corri (Run Man Run)
Another spaghetti western directed by someone named Sergio, I wasn't sure what to expect from this particular Sergio. A second or even third tier suckfest, really.

What is the English equivalent of Sergio? It seems to be a pretty popular name amongst Italian fascist movie directors.

I couldn't have been more surprised. Yeah, it suffers from some bad acting, and the immemorable lead characters are disappointing, but it was entertaining and worth watching for anybody who enjoys westerns, especially the spaghetti kind.

7.1 out of 10.