Friday, March 31, 2006

The Stupid Things We Do

Why, when a lightbulb burns out, do we flip the switch a couple of times after?

Case in Point

Remember the character building exercise? Well, the first word that comes to my mind when I think of this coworker who sent this email to our entire company this morning is "dumb".

To All Who Cares…

My Daughter went potty last night for the first time, than said “Good Girl?” She’s only 19 months old.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Took a Walk During Lunch

And took some pictures of the dam on the Salmon falls river at the bridge that goes into Berwick.

Things that Bug Me

If I send someone an email asking them two or more questions and they only answer the first question.

Long Division

I had to help an 11 year old kid with his math homework last night. My stupidity was depressing and I even had to ask my wife for help on one question. The problem was that they don't carry it out to decimal points, they just leave a remainder (remember R3?). My brain wouldn't do that, it's just not right it said, and it refused to continue figuring out the problem.

He probably got all the questions wrong and he'll blame me. I just ruined a young man's life.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Kip Journal 1/28/1999

Kip had his own apartment when he was 15 1/2

Once Kip was doing a seismic survey and the seismograph machine wasn't working. He called the office in Colorado and asked them how to fix it. They said to pick it up and drop it. He did that and it worked.

Kip has Redwood.

Oh Crap!

Baseball season is less than a week away and I haven't even looked at any of my three fantasy teams.

Kip Journal 1/25/1999

I actually saw the Kipper jogging in Somersworth the other day! It reminded me that I haven't posted any entries from the Kip Journal in a while.

Kip had been drinking since noon

Kip once had 31 stitches in his arm. he was kind enough to show us his scar.

Kip bore a strange resemblance to Rupert G from The David Letterman show. He had this goofy polyester baseball cap on his head, and a vacuous look in his eyes.

On Saturday Kip rode with 9.5 to my house. Near my home there is a rocky outcropping on the side of the road, Kip said sometime he's gonna have to come back "and check out those rocks."

Kip remembers where he was when he found out that Stevie Ray Vaughan died.

Kip is going to climb 111 mountains.

[A good day for journal entries. Ed.]

Happy Birthday!

To Vince Vaughn

I love you, man.

Some Movies I Watched Recently

I am copying my brother.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

I rented this for my daughter and I to watch. It came out in 1994 I believe, but of course, I was 20 years old at the time and didn't exactly run to the theater to go see it. Having read the book in the 5th grade and really enjoyed it I was actually looking forward to watching it.

It's good for kids, I guess, but as an adult, the extra 45 minutes of "filler" that they stuck in rather than really focusing on the actually journey was disappointing.

As a kids movie, I give it a B-. For adults who have kids, a C. For anybody else, F.


What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said? Its a great film, everybody knows that, and if you haven't seen it yet you better. Also, its nice to see Ryan Phillippe gainfully employed and not sponging off his lovely and talented wife.

For anyone born with the abilities of reason and logic, I give this movie an A


I have really mixed emotions about this movie after seeing it. My hopes were high when I rented it because I really wanted to see it. There aren't many good movies that portray the conflicts of the early 90s (Desert Storm, Somalia). Movies about these "wars" are interesting to me because they are from my time. I could have been there. Really, I could have. I came this >< close to joining the Marines. If Lance Corporal Trent hadn't offended me by offering me a "pop" instead of a "soda" who knows what might have become of me.

The cinematography is good. I love the desert landscape, and the scenes where they are marching around the burning oil wells are amazing, but the dialogue is pretty rudimentary. Its as if the writers realized that a lot of the script was lame so they just stuck the F word in a lot of places to "spice" it up.

Writer #1: "This sentence, 'I hate this place', is kinda of boring, how can we make it better?"

Writer #2: "Hmmm. I know! How about: 'I hate this f'in place'"

Writer #1: "Brilliant!"

It seems like that happened a lot in this movie. Naughty words dont offend me, but I am intelligent enough to know when it's just stuck in to make a statement more "edgy".

It also tried to be political but never really pulled it off. For example, one guy has a dead Iraqi's body and he is going use it for taking pictures and stuff, I guess. A couple of other guys make him get rid of it. When they do that he screams at them, "This is WAR!"

"No, its not 'WAR', you're just a freakin' nutjob," I said to myself. "WAR" may be about looting and blowing up civilians by accident but to characterize an American soldier as a corpse defiler (couldn't find a better word...) is just stupid, in my opinion. Supposedly this is based on a true story. If it is then fine. I eat my words.

There are other examples, but I'll let you watch the movie to see for yourself.

I never became emotionally involved in any of the other characters either. Barely knowing their names other than the main character, Swoff. There were no real battle scenes, which is okay, but only if you do a good job representing the struggles and emotions of your average soldier during war. We Were Soldiers managed to do both.

As a sidenote, Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) from The Office has a small role in this movie.

My grade, C+. Its worth watching but don't expect Full Metal Jacket or Saving Private Ryan, that's all I'm saying.

My Diet

Over the winter, due to a lack of physical exercise, I noticed a little extra baggage around my middle and my man boobs weren't quite as firm as they used to be. So I decided to go the Big A route and start my own diet.

My diet only has one requirement, stop drinking beer. Suuure, that's easy you might say, but you would be dead wrong because you don't know how much I like a tall cold glass of my favorite pilsner.

Anyway, it's been one week. I have no idea how much I weighed when I started, an estimate might be 160, but I do know that I can no longer "pinch an inch" on my belly . Man, this dieting stuff is EASY! Perhaps I will buy a scale to make this more scientific, though.

I know what you are thinking. "160! I hate you skinny guys who can eat anything you want." But before you succumb to bitterness and rage, remember this: in 10 years I will suffer from debilitatingly high cholesterol (hereditary) and will live out the rest of my life eating nothing but dry wheat toast and lettuce.

My Poor Wife and Other Stuff

Lurleen has been driving her absolutely crazy. I wish I could be home during the day because my powerful scowl is usually enough to scare away most people. Maybe I should have a life size poster of myself made up and put it on the slider doors to scare her off. Like garlic scares away vampires.

Lurleen Fun Fact:

Lurleen has a 9 month old daughter. Lurleen is trying to potty train her.

I looked at a map today and realized that Kentucky and Illinois share quite a bit of border. I bet she is really from Kentucky and not Illinois as she told us. It's kinda like when Rick's parents moved to Kentucky but he kept telling us they moved to Indiana.

Not to disparage the state of Kentucky, but its my third least favorite state that I have been to. Granted, I haven't seen much of it. Once, Big A and I drove to the Corvette Museum in his Camaro. The museum was very very cool, but what I remember most about the trip was setting the cruise control to 100 on the Blue Grass Parkway. Oh yeah, and he spent an awful long time in the bathroom at the most disgusting gas station I have ever seen. I wouldn't even go #1 in it for fear of mouse-sized microbes jumping off the urinal into my pants.

Here are my top 5 Least Favorite States

  1. Ohio - I lived here for a summer. You would think because I met my wife there it would be my favorite state. No. This list is purely based on scientific fact, not emotions. On an emotional level it is my favorite state. So, how come I don't like it? I just don't.

  2. Arkansas - I only drove through it once, of course it took 8 hours, but I felt the presence of great evil the whole time.
  3. Kentucky - Corvette Museum aside, if I hear one more story of people getting shot because they stumbled upon a meth lab in the mountains, this state is going to straight up to #1.
  4. Massachusetts - I just don't like it. At all. If it wasn't for the Red Sox, I would never go there (except to visit relatives, but they are moving to NH soon).
  5. Pennsylvania - I hate your highways Oh Keystone State. Other than that we're cool.

Monday, March 27, 2006

A Season of Change

I put the keys in my keyboard back in the right places today. It didn't really affect my life a whole lot, but my brain did protest every time I clicked CTRL + H to copy something. Word verifications were a little tough at times too.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Staples Update

I had to go back to Staples again to get bubble wrap. At the register there she was, the lady with the unique form of Tourettes. I was nervous. My nervousness was unfounded however because during the course of the transaction she did not express any "glee". I like to think she stumbled upon my blog and decided it was time to seek help, or maybe it was because I used cash this time...

Pain Post

I deleted it. It was just some form of therapy. I didn't expect anybody to comment, but I did read them.

Congratulations, Your not Retarded!

Yes, the "your" was on purpose.

I realize that many people of varying degrees of computer literacy sell their stuff on eBay, but isn't it a little patronizing to congratulate someone for successfully leaving feedback?

Friday, March 24, 2006

A New Disease

The cashier at Staples in Somersworth has a new form of Tourettes Syndrome where she doesn't involuntary swear but she makes involuntary noises of um, ecstasy. At first I thought that she just was really glad that I used my credit card, and then when I signed my name, but when she expressed great pleasure about handing me my bag of crap, I left in a hurry.

Later on I realized she must have a condition. Then I felt bad. The bad feeling about feeling bad went away however, but now I feel bad about posting this.

My Daughter

My daughter is the source of more entertainment for me than The Simpson's, Clint Eastwood and Nintendo combined.

Yesterday she told me she likes "sneaking and hiding". I guess that means she is going to be a cat burglar. Nice. Steal some fancy jewelry for Daddy, ok, sweetie?

Hey Remember the Time...

We tried to steal a railroad crossing sign but it was on a ten foot pole so we tried to knock down the pole with a full size Dodge van?

The Man. The Myth. The Legend.

Mike Timlin.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wedding Singer

One of my favorite movies, even if it is a "romantic" comedy.

Wedding_Singer: kill_me.mp3

Courtesy of Movie Wavs

I couldn't have said it better myself...

From my favorite Red Sox related blog, it deserved to be linked to directly.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


I see a spin-off in the works:

Also, Wayne Palmer needs to learn some evasive driving skills. I thought he was driving a Lexus or a Mercedes. How could a cargo van catch up to him so easily? Oh yeah and, dude, when a vehicle that is chasing you pulls right up beside you, HIT THE BRAKES!

I'm not knocking 24, I've just noticed a few questionable plot elements recently. Speaking of questionable plots, did anybody watch Prison Break last night? My wife and I have watched it from the beginning, and while I think its entertaining, no show in recent memory has forced me to suspend belief more than Prison Break.

Hey Baby, You Could Be a Model

These "events" happen from time to time and I used to think it was a scam by the "artist" to see women naked.

After seeing this image, I am not so sure anymore. Anyone who would be willing to see hundreds of male butts must be a dedicated ar-teest.

Japan Wins

I was rooting for Cuba to win the World Baseball Classic. Oh well. The interesting thing about these two teams is that at one point neither was even going to be in the WBC. Cuba, because of United States law, and Japan, because they didn't like the way it was being organized. Actually, it was because of money. Cuba wasn't allowed to profit off the WBC and Japan didn't think it was getting a big enough piece of the pie.

All in all, I enjoyed the WBC. Its neat to see other teams and countries play ball and have a geniune love for the game. Its kinda why I enjoy watching college baseball.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Kip Journal 1/23/1999

The last time Kip went to a bar that had a cover charge, a guy he was pals with told the bouncer, "he gets in for free"

Kip Journal 1/22/1999

Kip got 30 stitches in his head. He said when he goes bald it will be cool.

"There's a fine line when you are drinking and playing pool, between when you have had just enough to drink to play well, and just a little bit too much to drink and lose it."

Kip used tp work at a radio station. He used to empty out half of a bottle of coke and fill the rest with rum and bring it to work with him.

Busted Knuckles

Must get myself a pair of these:

While working on the Lakota this weekend, I split open one of my knuckles so bad that by the time I got into the house my hand was covered in blood. Strangely though, it didn't hurt. A two inch by three inch bandaid (covered almost my entire finger) couldn't stem the flow either.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

For Rob...

A link to all of the items I have for sale. The two printers and the scanner are Butch's.

My Stuff

Kip Journal 1/21/1999

Kip doesn't even bother to uninstall programs anymore, he just goes directly into the regedit.

Kip Journal 1/20/1999

Kip climbed Bald Mountain when he had Mono.

Kip is cool. He does all his linux installations at the command line.

If Kip's wife ever breaks the computer he is going to make her fix it.

[It just dawned on me how long ago 1999 is. Where has the time gone... Ed.]

World Baseball Classic

Cuba vs. Dominican today at 3. I can't wait. Thats the matchup I've been waiting to see. I hope I don't forget. If my cell phone wasn't dead I would set up a reminder. Crap.

Also, I can't believe that Korea is undefeated. I saw their very first game of the WBC and they didn't look that great to me.

A Dream Come True

The Red Sox on FM! Oh what a dream!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Buoys and Gulls

Bathrooms shouldn't be designated by gender. Designating them for an intended usage, Number 1 or Number 2, would be much more desirable. Of course, this wouldn't work in a large office building, but in our building here where the bathrooms on each floor are all single serving (one person at a time), its a perfect idea.

Live Bus for Sexy

Death Cab for Cutie was on the radio. I kinda like them, so I decided to search on Little did I know that the search type selection was set to song for a search I had done earlier today (Star of the County Down). Anyway to make a pointless post short, Death Cab for Cutie is also the name of a song by The Bonzo Dog Band from 1992. Its such an odd phrase I can only imagine thats where they got it from.

Good day to you.

A Book I Read Once

All the talk about southern accents and rednecks reminded me of this book that I read last year about a guy raising (actually I think the mother does most of the raising) a family in the South during the depression. It's a little dry at times, but it provides a good look into their daily struggles.

I've always been fascinated with the history of the South. I don't know what else to say. Good day to you.


I just watched Monday's episode last night. I have one question, how come the situation room was sealed off with fancy gaskets on the doors (its early not sure how else to describe) and the steel curtains that slammed shut, but all Lynnwise McGamgill had to do to get out of his room was turn the doorknob?

Do we see Barry again this season? Does Jack kill him?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Wanna go for a ride?

I saw a creepy old guy driving an old ambulance today. It definitely adds to his creep cred. He probably bought it on eBay.

Do you think he was actively shopping for an old ambulance, you know, because he figured, "I'm a creepy old guy and might as well just embrace it." Or do you think he just stumbled upon a good deal one day and thought it would be cool to drive an old ambulance, not even realizing that by doing so every woman in his general proximity will keep one hand on her can of mace and the other hand on her cell phone.

I vote for the former.


I've got WFNX on right now. (I was told I could listen to my radio at a reasonable volume). One, the new Pearl Jam song is up next! Booooring. Never liked Pearl Jam. Two, the Hesser College RUUULES commercial is really stupid. Three, some guy from Pearl Jam is in a commercial and he mentions anal bleeding?! Four, why would someone name a store Jared? Not, Jared's Jewelry Hut or Jewelry by Jared, just Jared.

Neighbor Update

I finally put my other neighbor's crap on ebay, but only because I had some stuff of my own to put up. I am going to refer to this neighbor as Butch (yes, she's a woman) from now on. With multiple neighbors to post about it could get confusing.

The neighbor across the street, who I will refer to as Lurleen Lumpkin or just Lurleen, is actually from Illinois. Apparently I had confused a light southern accent with a heavy midwestern one. Or as my wife put it, we confused southern with just plain ole redneck.

I Don't Heart Computers

I was messing around with some stuff on my computer, trying to determine the best way of keeping my mother in law from snooping around in our files, and I discovered this encryption option. So, what the hey, I encrypted a folder of pictures. I could still view them and edit them after. I switched users to my wife (the account on our computer the MIL uses) and I could not view the files. Cool. Thats kinda what I was after. I logged off the computer and went to bed.

That was Tuesday night. Last night I got on the computer and attempted to view the files. Eh. Wrong. AHHH! You're kidding right, you stupid computer. Couldn't decrypt them either. Access denied. Oh, how I hate you. I'm the administrator of the computer I should be able to do whatever the frig I want.

I'm not a computer illiterate boob either. I will eventually be able to figure out how to get my files back, but I am probably going to waste hours of my valuable time. The bottomline is never make any changes to your computer, because they suck.

Update: I came across this tasty turd, "The downside is, if your administrator resets your password, you lose all access to the encrypted files because the certificate is deleted." I dont know if its true or not, but I DID reset my password, because I decided it was too long. I figured a shorter password would be ok since the MIL isn't exactly on the FBIs most wanted list for computer hacking.

Update: Screw it. It was a folder of pictures that I had just transferred from my digital camera. I can probably just download a utility to recover the pictures from the camera's memory card....

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Morning Drive

Everyday I get stuck behind someone on rte 4 between Dover and South Berwick who is going under the speed limit. Its 55, people! Yesterday I was behind an old crappy van going between 40 and 45. They were kind enough to pull over and let me pass. Today I was behind some old people in a Dakota who were going 35! THIRTY FIVE! That kind of behavior gets you passed in the double yellow. I wasn't taking a chance on there being oncoming traffic when I finally got to the passing zone.

Soon after I passed them a freak mini blizzard came out of nowhere but it was blue skies again 2 miles down the road. Weird.

Interesting Facts about the New Neighbors

They enter their daughter into beauty pageants. One of which cost $500 to enter.

They have a brand spanking new Mustang, but they can't afford to register it.

Kip Journal 1/19/1999

I say we direct all questions to Kip. He has all the answers anyway, why waste time asking anybody else.

First of all..If Kip is as good at playing bass as he is at say..building decks, don't stand on any f*****g deck that he has ever been near. I started out playing some very basic rudamental chord progressions an the dude had no clue. Knowing that this wasn't going anywhere..I told him to play what he usually does..he ended up talking his way out of it and before I knew it, we were just drinking beer talking about all the stuff that Kip had done before he was married. He did bring over some Decent beer though..I'll give him that.

[9.5 doesn't seem very happy about his Friday night with Kip. Ed.]

Kip used to manage an apartment complex and was the owners best friend. They partied all the time.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

East vs. West

Please don't call the Red Sox and Dodgers, Red Sox East and Red Sox West. You can call them Red Sox and Red Sox West, or Red Sox and L.A. Sox. But we're the original. We don't need any additional monikers added to our name just because the parking lot king of South Boston bought that team and is stocking it with our castaways.

New Neighbors

So, we have some new neighbors that moved in across the street a month or two ago. I had never spoken to them because of my fear of meeting new people and my fear of new people asking me to do favors for them.

My wife had spoken to the girlfriend (they're not married) a few weeks ago and said she was friendly and they have a 9 month old daughter.

Last night I came home from work and there was a strange women sitting on my couch. "Hi," I said. Then it clicked. New neighbor.

The baby was there too. She's cute, and the same size as my 14 month old son. She's not big its just that he's in the 5th percentile for height.

Anyway, I sat down in the living room to be friendly. She's talking away and I noticed that she has a southern accent. I asked her where they were from. She says we moved here from Rotchester. Crickets chirping. Awkward silence. I smile and nod my head. Apparently, she wasn't aware of her accent. Maybe I just got confused, it could have just been a Gonic accent.

Next she said that she taped the finale of Beauty and the Geek 2 and if I wanted to borrow it, because she knows I watch it. Huh? What? I've seen it twice. It turns out that she can see our TV from her porch. Just great. My mind quickly scans through everything I have watched in the past month. The 40 Year Old Virgin is the only thing that comes to mind as being "questionable".

Later on she says, "Hey do guys have some sort of Simpsons channel?" "Um, I have Seasons 1-7 on DVD," I replied. "Because it seems like everytime I am out on my porch smoking you guys seem to be watching it."

I am officially freaked out now. And this does NOT help me come over my fear of new neighbors.

Oh yeah, she also commented on how I must have been dragging at work today because I had been out fixing my truck until 11:30. Stop it already! Spy on me if you must, but don't tell me about it.

Aww Poor Baby

I don't really watch South Park, and you can say what you want about the creators of it (Team America World Police is an awesome movie though), but I think Matt Stone hit the nail on the head with this quote: "In ten years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslim, Mormons or Jews," Stone said in a statement issued by the Comedy Central network. "He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show."

Heres the link to the article.

Speaking of scientology, here's a quick run down of what it is. hehe.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Caption Contest

Winners will receive something.

Crazy Pigeon Eyes

Make your own eyes at

R.I.P (Edgar Stiles) [spoilers Big A, spoilers!]

I just watched last weeks episode of 24 last night. I'm going to miss you Edgar.

Also, Lynnwise McGamgee, when Jack finds out your keycard was stolen by your junkie sister and you didn't report it, leading to the deaths of many CTU employees, he's going to throw you into the eternal fires of Mount Doom.

Kip Journal 1/18/1999

Kip and 9.5 jammed on Friday night. I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

[9.5 was the nickname of another guy at the help desk. That journal entry was entered to kinda make fun of him for hanging out with Kip. Ed.]

I am so sick of getting answers to questions I never asked.

[Kip didn't say this, it was just a general feeling about him everybody had. Ed.]

Phone ringing: "I dont care. I dont get paid enough to care."

So How Did You Spend Your Sunday Afternoon?

Whyy dismantling the front suspension of a Dodge Dakota, of course.

All in all, while it was a time consuming project, it went well. All the tools I needed, big wrenches, little wrenches, 21mm and 22mm sockets, even the the 32mm socket, and allen wrenches, were right at hand. Only one busted
knuckle. No stuck nuts.

I had a little trouble with the ball joint press though. It started when I read the instructions...The instructions, in a word, sucked. Its like they were written in Chinese, translated to Spanish and then translated to English. I did damage the press a little trying to follow the instructions. I don't think the boys at AutoZone will notice though. I hope they just do the perfunctory "open the box, check that everything is there, close the box" inspection. If not I'll have to put on my best "thats the way it was when I got it" routine. The thing still works though. I just ignored the instructions and used my God given mechanical instincts. I had that ball joint out and the new one installed in a half hour.

This is great, right? It went so well I should be happy. NO way. This just means that the next job I have to do on a vehicle is going to be an absolute tool throwing, kids cover your ears nightmare. Thats just the way it is.

I am going to be sore tomorrow too. I can already feel it. Spend 8 hours on your knees in a driveway in a drizzle lifting and pulling and pushing heavy objects and turning many big nuts (heehee) and your body is going to make you pay.

Ah well. This project cost less than a hundred bucks. I haven't the foggiest idea what a mechanic would charge, but I bet its a bit (ha but bet bit) more than that.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Who was I kidding?

I went to bed at 10 last night and set my alarm for 5 am so I could start working on replacing the ball joints in my truck. Well, 5 o'clock rolls around and, wow, its very dark at 5. So I reset the alarm for 6, then 7. To make a long story short, i got up at 8. And it's too late start the truck now because I have to leave at noon to run a couple of errands and then go to a birthday party. Rats. If its relatively warm out tonight I'll probably start it when my wife gets home from work. Gotta go to The Depot and get me one of those halogen lights, for bright light AND warmth.

I was dead tired all week. Probably from the evil organisms that the expired orange juice planted in my system.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Kip Journal 1/15/1999

Roch-www is "pooched"

Kip says he is going to call Jared tonight and come over

Kip must eat his meat before he can have his pudding
[I have no idea what this means. Must have been something he said. Ed.]

Kip said that his college had unisex bathrooms in the dorm. He was in the bathroom taking a leak, and a chick came out of the showers. He turned around and she was just starting to put her towel on.

Kip's Dad tried to "lay him out"" when he was 16, note "tried".

Kip passed by all 4 wheel drive trucks coming into work this morning. They were all driving too slow so he drove 40-45 mph pass them.
[It must have been snowing. Ed.]

Kip Journal 1/14/1999

When Kip used to live in Eliot, he would make his wife go out and shovel the driveway because this guy would drive by, see her, and plow the driveway for free.

"Real men do whatever the hell they want"

Kip said if Spanish people dont want to speak our language, then they can get the hell out.

Kip doesn't like Howard Stern because Howard gets away with the things that Kip almost used to get busted for.

Kip Journal 1/13/1999

Kip worked high steel for three years


just maybe, I'll shave my head tonight. I still have my brother's clippers.


I want to apologize for my grammar. In high school and college I was a pretty good writer, but it's been many years and I don't remember all of the rules. I do still have a grammar book, maybe I will dig it out of storage.

Oh Crud

I haven't felt like posting much today. Besides the fact that the depressive side of my manic depressive personality has reared its ugly head (my sincerest apologies to those of you with actual diagnosed manic depressiveness, I don't know how else to describe it), I just had a really crummy day. Crummy.

I have one project that I've done in ASP.NET (one, two actually, in VB.NET too, but thats neither here nor there). Today I discovered I need to make enhancements to that application. That's fine. I actually like using .NET, besides the learning curve of course, but they tell me they need it done by the 28th. Sure, fine. Despite the fact that the person in my company who requested the enhancements is white and American yet can't form coherent sentences (Bill Davis) I know I can get it done. Except for the fact that the both of our companies meat and potatoes applications, our Special Education Management software, the web (my primary responsibility) and windows versions, are both going to be converted to .NET (well, started) April 1st. We have 5 months of relatively product-manager-interference-free time to do this, but I have things I need to do to the old ASP version to make the transition easier in the mean time. Ugh. Oh well. Suck it up.

Today I worked on creating an error handling page in .NET that will save the error information to a database which my VB.NET program alerts me too. Yay. That was the easy part.

I'm rambling. I know nobody cares.

Maybe my brother can get me a job in pest control.

Besides that, other things transpired that make me want to run away and join a cult in Montana. I bet there's some good riding out there too. And I could wear a cowboy hat...

Think Spring

Softball season is just around the corner. Oh crap! I need to update the team's site. Oh crap! I need to pay the hosting bill. So I played catch with a guy at work today. It felt good. I didn't overdo it and there is no pain at all in my shoulder. For most of last season throwing caused me excruciating pain. Swinging the bat was no picnic either. Oh yeah, and I need a new glove. My current glove is too big and bulky.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

My Name is Andy

Don't forget to watch tonight. 9pm NBC.


I read Kreblog's post on Bloglines a while back, and I finally decided to sign up. I was really interested in the extensions for Firefox too.

Well, when I tried to register it said that the user already existed. Huh? So I attempted to log in with my username and standard password and Voila! I was in. I even had YouWho, Kreblog, 4 Kids, Mom, and Dad, Everyday News and Wild Things in my blogroll. Amazing!

I have no idea when I signed up for this before. I'm guessing it was a long time ago, since those were the first and only blogs I read for a long time. I have a few more to add now.

Busted Tees

Man. Some of these are awesome.

My personal favorites:

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Deep Thoughts by Jack Andy

The next time someone calls you and tells you that you've won a free carpet cleaning, act really, really happy and joyful. Then schedule a time for them to come. Leave your home 15 minutes prior and don't come back for hours.

At the time, I am sure they will be very angry, but some day they will look back on it and laugh.

Kip Journal 1/12/1999

Kip said that one time he was doing a geological survey and he had to beat a snapping turtle with a stick to get out of the mud

Kip never bothered with aspartame when it came out. He tried it periodically but never really used it because he knew that something was wrong about it.

Hair Pictures

I should have taken pictures right after the hair incident when it looked really bad. Unfortunately, I didn't. These were taken after the trip to the hairdresser.

Is it safe?

The orange juice I just bought at Cumberland Farms is dated Jan 26. I'm drinking it, though. It just tastes a little not so fresh.

Update: I did not drink the second carton of orange juice that I had bought at the same time, dated Jan 26 also. I had several coworkers smell it and everyone agreed it smelled very funky and worse than the one that I did drink.

Kip Journal 1/11/1999

Kip urinated on the the front porch of his University President one night when he was really drunk.

KIp Journal 1/9/1999

"Seriously John, if you need any help..."

[Kip repeated this phrase incessantly. Ed.]

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

My Wallet

I am notorious for losing my wallet, which is why I don't keep any money in it. My wallet has been missing for a week and a half. It was the victim of a pre-showing cleaning and it got stashed somewhere. The only thing I did have in it was my debit card. For whatever reason known only by my guardian angel, my license, library card, AAA card and Home Depot card were all in my jacket. Just not my debit card. So annoying. I felt like my father in law.

This reminds me of the time (and the #2 reason why I don't keep money in my wallet) when I was 15 and I had $80 in my wallet and it got "lost". I scoured the house for weeks looking for my wallet. Eighty bucks is a LOT of money for a 15 year old. Well lo and behold my mother had taken it to borrow the money. She had planned on replacing the money and making the wallet magically reappear. Little did she know that I, as a 15 year old, would become frantic and obsessed with finding my WALLET and my MONEY.

That reminds me of the time when I was 16. I had a job and I was trying to save up to buy a car. I worked hard washing dishes at a nursing home, getting up at 5:30, riding my ten speed from Stackpole Rd. in Somersworth to Glenwood in Dover. To make a long story short, I "saved" 600 bucks by August, and I almost couldn't buy the car I wanted because my mother had borrowed all of it during the course of the summer.

Whatever my Dad did to get that 600 bucks so I could buy my Regal I appreciate it. Even if he doesn't know it.

Neighbor Lady

Ok. I can't let up.

Last summer her daughter and she opened up the cable box at the street to "reconfigure" it to get themselves free cable because they hadn't paid the bill. They got themselves free cable alright, but they knocked ours out in the process. When the cable guy showed up to fix ours she called us and accused us of telling on her. That's when we discovered that she had done that.

Late this fall our cable was all squirrelly (picture was messed up). When we called the cable company, we just happened to let them know our neighbor sometimes likes to mess around with the box.



was funny tonight. Ice tongue and olive oil. I know it was a repeat but I hadn't seen it before.


I better start getting more sleep at night. I don't want to end up looking like this:

At least my teeth will never be brown.

No wonder Valerie left him.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Kip Journal 1/8/1999

Ok, I agree 1/7/1999 was very lame, but I had to give you 1/7 in order to give you 1/8.

Kip has a late model Pontiac Grand Am. He said if he had time he was going to put a 454 in it. Pretty amazing considering its a front wheel drive car.

Kip used to work at a place that had a four wheeler, he used to take it out in the sand pit and "open it up."

Kip used to run a huge ass concrete drill.

Kip makes his own pizza dough

"Dammit Jim I'm a Jackass not a doctor!"

Kip said he would take John's son rockclimbing to toughen him up.

Kip got 30 ticks on him after being in the woods in Weare

Kip had to fend for himself since he was 15

Kip rebuilt 4 engines and 2 transmissions when he was in high school

Kip Journal 1/7/1999

I can't resist. Must have more Kip.

Kip called in sick further entries...

Kip called in sick because his daughter was feeling ill.

[Why the duplicate entries? Multiple people were posting to this journal. Ed.]

Kip Journal 1/6/1999

I felt bad because the 1/5/1999 entry was so lame. Plus, I wanted to laugh some more. Here are the entries for 1/6/1999

Kip said that "it really sets him off" when he's been drinking and then does a couple of bong hits

Kip had a friend who wanted to buy an iMac, but he steered him clear of that!

Kip was born on Friday the 13th

Kip Journal 1/5/1999

Kip used to get free airline tickets from People's express because they overbooked their flights

[1/5/1999 must have been a slow day. Kip only said one stupid thing. And it wasn't really that stupid. Ed.]

Neighbor Lady

While I am on the subject of the neighbor lady, let me tell you a little story. About three months ago she dropped off a scanner and 2 printers and said, "Here sell that on eBay and give me the money."

Have I sold it yet? Nah. She bugs me. A lot. And I am just making sure that she never ever expects me to sell something on eBay for her again.

Why don't I just tell her that I don't want to sell her crap on eBay? Well, since you asked, there are two reasons. One, I find it really fun to blow her off and two, she is the kind of neighbor who could and would really make my life miserable if she wanted to. Oh crap. Maybe I should just sell her stuff. Eh, maybe tomorrow.

What does she do that bugs me so bad? Again, since you asked, let me give you some examples. My wife graciously babysat her grandson one day (this grandson is a whole 'nuther post) and she paid us with clothes that she bought at Goodwill. Hmm, whats a good second example. She's a packrat and she finally cleaned out her closet and decided it would be a good idea to give my wife tons of UGLY eighties clothes. Mind you, this woman is about 200 lbs and 5-8 and my wife is about 115 and 5-2. Even though we didn't want them and expressed that to her. We just sucked it up and took them. After my wife and I were done laughing at some of the hideous designs, my wife took them to Goodwill. A couple months later the neighbor had a change of heart and asked for her clothes back!

Ugh. GO AWAY! I can't wait until we move and discover new neighbors that will drive us crazy. At least they will be new.

Thank YOU!

I was outside yesterday and it was starting to get dark. The neighbor next door went into her bedroom and immediately closed the shades. For this, neighbor lady, I sincerely thank you. At this stage of my life I would prefer not having to pluck my eyes out.

Way Cool

The Simpsons filmed with live actors.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

So how did you spend your Sunday afternoon?

Whyyy dismantling the front suspension of a Lakota of course.

It's hard to tell from the picture, but I got the two knuckles (or spindles) off. It was pretty easy actually. ATVs, unlike cars, while subjected to lots of mud and water, do not suffer from any exposure to road salt. This makes dismantling of their suspensions easier.

Also, I inspected the front suspension of my truck which has been making awful creaking noises for a bunch of months now.

I knew it was balljoints. I just didn't know how many, although I had figured on replacing all four. Well, good for me because technically only one HAS to be replaced. The one making the creaking noises. The lower balljoint on the passenger side. I am going to replace both of them on that side however. The boots on both of them are ruined, which is why one of them has gone bad I assume. The lower joint is the one making all of the noise, but I might as well replace the upper one also since its boot has been busted too. The previous owner must haved had some work done to that side of the truck and the mechanic wrecked the boots on the joints. The other side of the truck is fine. Great.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

So how did you spend your Saturday afternoon?

Whyyy dismantling the front suspension of a Lakota of course.

Not much was actually dismantled however.

Kip Journal 1/4/1999

Kip drank bong water once when he was really desperate

Kip said he could build John a deck because he used to do it

Kip used to smoke 3 packs a day

Friday, March 03, 2006


I hate the smell of canned cat food. Especially those that are tuna based. Yuck.

What the ... Did You Do?!

You've all heard or experienced the stories where a child gets a hold of a pair of scissors and cuts their own hair into some grotesque hairdo.

I had considered myself lucky because to this point I hadn't experienced that yet with my own kids. The oldest never did that. The middle child, Alyssa, hadn't yet and we figured her out of the stage of life where she would do that since she is 3 1/2 years old. An incident the other night where she cut a section out of her pajamas notwithstanding.

So anyway, she cut her hair tonight. Chopped it actually. Mutilated it really. Not only that, she chopped her youngest brothers hair too! I've never heard of that happening before. What possesses kids to do this? I DON'T GET IT.

I was watching TV 11 feet away. The two of them were in her room, playing. I thought they were okay. Call me naive if you must, but I had put away all of the known scissors in the house. Credit her father-like ingenuity at finding a pair.

I can only imagine the conversation that passed between her and the boy.

"Aaron, I want to make your hair handsome," said Alyssa.

"Ok," said Aaron in his head since he doesn't speak English.


Mmmm Vitamin C

I drank a half gallon of orange juice this morning. I don't know why. I do know, however, that there are 8 servings in a half gallon of orange juice at 120 calories each. Ooo. On the bright side, I got 72% of my daily potassium.

Random Email Exchanges

From: Evil One
Sent: Thursday, February 16, 2006 11:59 AM
To: Max Power
Subject: RE:

That’s ok, in my mind every time I look at you I vomit…


From: Max Power
Sent: Thursday, February 16, 2006 11:44 AM
To: Evil One
Subject: RE:

In my mind, every time I look at you I am giving you the finger. Both fingers actually.


I hold the Guinness Book of World Records for two things, number of consecutive nights falling asleep on the couch and fastest time falling asleep on the couch, but sometimes when I get into bed I cannot fall asleep. Last night was one of those nights.

I watched a little of Conan O'Brien, until Nicollette Sheridan came on, then I found Korea vs. Chinese Taipei in the World Baseball Classic. Korea won, 2-0, in what could only be described as a boring game. And I was thinking while watching it, I could totally hit that pitcher. Hee Seop Choi was on the Korean team which is remarkable only because he is a full 6 inches taller than the next tallest guy on the team.

I flipped through the channels and found The Bernie Mac Show. Bernie Mac is a funny show that I really like to watch, but it is also one of those shows, like Scrubs, that I never plan to watch, I never know when its on, and I only catch it by accident. In this episode Bernie takes his nephew, Jordan, down to the barber shop to expose him to the world of men. That night at the dinner table he is repeating some of the things he heard at the barber shop. The funniest being, "We talked about how the first thing a black man in the NBA does is get a new car and a white girl." This of course gets Bernie in trouble with his wife, Wanda, and Bernie has to teach Jordan about the code, whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Next up, another World Baseball Classic game was Japan vs. China. I KNOW I could hit that Chinese pitcher. Ichiro Suzuki was on the team and Kawasaki was playing shortstop. I dont know where Honda and Yamaha were, probably sitting on the bench. I finally fell asleep and China was actually winning 2-0. Too bad I didn't stay awake, Japan ended up killing them 18-2. The game actually was called in the 8th because of the mercy rule. Haha.

Speaking of Adults that Stink

There was a woman who used to work here (got fired a couple of weeks ago), and she had a fondness for garlic. One day her breath was so bad the entire ROOM smelled like it. Theres about 15 people in our room here on the 3rd floor, so its a good sized room.

Another day, and it was after lunch so she didn't have time to stink up the whole room, she was in the cube next to me talking to my boss and I could smell her in my cube. Awful. Just awful.

As a sidenote, have you ever felt bad when someone you worked with got fired? Maybe because you know its not easy to find a new job or you liked the person or any number of other reasons. Well, me too, but not in this case. I think I was actually a little happy (her and I didn't get along).

Also, she was directly responsible for someone else getting fired a few months before, so she got what was coming to her.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Character Building Exercise

Think of 10 people that you know (ok, loser, you don't know 10, so think of 5).

Now, go to your happy place and think about each person individually.

What is the first word that pops into your head about each person? Remember it.

Go to tell each person what that word is, good or bad.

Be brave. They will appreciate the constructive criticism, even if that word is dummy.

Sox on Wiki

I stumbled upon this by accident. Its a pretty comprehensive history of the Sox that you can use to quickly look up the answer when somebody asks you a question like, "Who did the Red Sox beat in the 1916 World Series?"

Happy Birthday

To the new James Bond and star of the British gangster movie Layer Cake, Daniel Craig.

Sucker of Thumbs

My wife and I watched a movie called Thumbsucker last night. She added it to our NetFlix list because of my man crush on Vince Vaughn and he plays a minor role as a teacher in this movie.

Now when my wife rents a movie that I have never heard of the results can sometimes be disastrous. Remember Heavy, Rob? But this is a good movie, not for everyone, however, so if you rent it and don't like it, don't come complaining to me, cause I won't listen to you. Or perhaps I will pretend to listen to you, but be thinking about how much of a dork you are.

ATTENTION America's Parents!

If your child's body odor is powerful enough to make me throw up in my mouth, then said child needs to take a shower!

Thank you.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Oh Well

I spent $450 today getting my furnace fixed. There goes the trip to West Virginia.

Nah, I kid.

We shall burn, like the heathen kings of old

The past few days I had a Steward of Gondor look going on with my hair (minus the gray)

But today it's back to classic Hobbit

Don't Start Believing

I love The Onion.