Thursday, February 25, 2010


Truck starting making a grinding noise when I stop. Yippee. Another lost weekend in store for me.

If I had full coverage on it, then I might leave it in a dangerous part of the city. Unlocked. With the keys in the ignition. Possibly still running. With a note that says, "Please don't steal me. wink, wink."

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Fabulous Movie Reviews©

Slumdog Millionaire
Am I missing something? Sure, it's good, but it certainly didn't get me all hot and bothered like so many people out there. The only thing really original about it was that it takes place in India (I realize that may only be original to me). Is the story that ground breaking or ingenious? Nah, not really.

7 out of 10 (Good)

If you are like me and are perfectly happy living in a world where Ralph Macchio's career vanished like a plate of ribeyes at Big A's house, then you might not be interested in Crossroads, but it's actually not bad. A decent story about a kid who wants to be a "blues man". If you can get past Ralph's goofy facial expressions, this is good enough to watch when you have an hour and a half to kill late one night (or early one morning) like I did.

Also, the scene where Ralphie and Steve Vai have a battle of the guitars is pure 1980s GOLD!

6.5 out of 10 (Pretty good)

An excellent little film from Christopher Nolan who also did Memento, one of the greatest movies ever, and Dark Knight, one of the most very good movies (don't criticize my grammar, it's on purpose) of recent times. It's got a great story and because I am smartest of the dumb guys, not dumbest of the smart guys (hmm, maybe I am dumbest of the smart guys. I'm not totally sure of the difference), the ending was a complete surprise to me.

8 out of 10 (Very, very good)

Monday, February 22, 2010

Fabulous Movie Reviews©

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Yeah, it was pretty good. I can't argue with that. Two great actors and an interesting concept, but one major plot development really got me all worked up. I understand why, but it still kind of sucked. You know how sentimental I can be sometimes.

7.5 out of 10 (Very good)

I Love You, Man

I didn't want to like this movie. I'm tired of inane comedies starring B actors, but I will admit that this one was much better than I thought. Paul Rudd plays the kind of guy that everyone has known at some point in their life (or maybe you are that guy) who has no male friends and is never without a girlfriend. It was funny, and his off the cuff, rambling attempts at trash talking or street slang are hilarious.

7.0 out of 10 (Good)

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

I think smart people would say that this was a taut, suspenseful thriller. I am going to agree with those smart people, since they are much smarter than me.

Also, Philip Seymour Hoffman is one of the greatest actors ever.

8.5 out of 10 (Very, very, very good)

I Tapped That

I just thought that I should point out that I have had this tube of anti-seize since I was in high school.

All done. I wish had something pithy to say, but I am really tired of thinking about and devoting energy to the truck.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Quote of the Day

In every horror movie about inbred freaks there's always one mostly normal family member who is too scared or too helpless to get away and live a normal life.

I feel like that family member

Sunday, February 14, 2010

How did you spend your fake holiday?

I spent 5 hours being intimate with my sweetheart.

I think I wanna divorce.


I forgot to post a picture of the kale chorizo* soup I made a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I was the only one in my house who would eat it, but luckily it was awesome enough that I ate it morning, noon and night for three days.

*I couldn't find linguica anywhere

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Disappearing Act

If all of your power steering fluid vanishes within a 3 week period, that's bad, right?

Monday, February 08, 2010

Where Were You?

The little voice inside my head was taking a nap when I suddenly got the urge to fix the loose bathtub faucet. Due to the idiosyncrasies of tri-level architecture the plumbing for the upstairs bathroom tub is only accessible in the small stairwell going down to the lowest level. Oh, and of course there was no access panel.

So, anyway, the hoopleheads who did the plumbing in my house didn't attach the faucet pipe to anything. It was just flapping in the breeze and because of accessibility* issues I couldn't really fix it the right way. At least its better than it was. I'll leave it for the next guy.

My youngest kids have never seen me tear into a wall with reckless abandon before. They were amazed. I told the youngest I was making him a new bedroom. Ah, the look on his face...

*Ideally, it would have been attached to something before the backer board and tile was put in. I know, I know. That's just crazy talk.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


I was standing in my driveway chopping ice in preparation for yet another project on my truck*, thinking "what kind of bizarro world is this? I'm in Virginia chopping ice after we got a foot of snow with more in the forecast." Thinking about bizarro got me thinking about Seinfeld which led to Kramer. Then my mind wandered onto other wacky sitcom stars finally stopping at Dwight from the Office and I remembered an episode where he used the word "cuckolded".

It's a funny word, not because of what it means, but because of how it sounds. Say it. Cuckolded.

*Yeah, we didn't pass inspection again. And because of the snow and a family wide plague last weekend, I've penciled in "exhaust manifold repair" on my calendar for Saturday. I wanted a project truck/car, but this isn't quite what I had in mind. Also, the fog lights on my truck which have not EVER worked in the 5 years and 50,000 miles I've owned it need to be fixed or removed. They are so picky down here in dixie land. I did get a second opinion from another garage, and he too said they needed to be fixed or removed, aaand he said chances are he would find some other things wrong with it too.**

**hmm, like my bad tie rod ends and leaking axle seal? i'll take my chances with the first garage.
You know what i hate about home depot and its the reason i almost never go? getting asked if i need help every 10 feet. dude im lookimg at lightbulbs!!