Saturday, February 28, 2009


A question (I guess it was more of a statement, a question was inferred) asked of me at work. Not by a marketing dude or a sales rep, but a "developer".

“I get this: The text, ntext, and image data types are invalid in this subquery or aggregate expression.”

Pretty self explanatory, huh? And for the super motivated like me I found the answer in 3 seconds on Google. Ever heard of it? Of course, I already knew the answer, but its easier just to send someone a link and hope and pray they will read it and actually learn something.

Kip Journal 6/11/1999

Kip's daughter slapped him in the face today. Smart girl, learning early how to shut her dad up. Maybe she thought his palsy was acting up again and that by slapping him she was helping.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Because I Like to Cut Things

I need a new knife. I have three requirements. Its big. Its a folder. And it looks cool. A fourth requirement would be: doesn't cost an arm or a leg. I know. Why didn't I just say that I have four requirements?

Anywho, after an exhaustive* search I've narrowed it down to these two worthy contenders.

Gerber Obsidian

Gerber Freeman


I like the Obsidian because it also sports a bottle opener and philips and flathead screwdrivers. The Freeman, however, has a stouter blade and that handle is pretty cool.

Other points of note, the Obsidian has a safety-like blade lock and the Freeman weighs in at a bone crunching 8.2 ounces. Good for whacking things. The Obsidian's blade has a sharper point. Better for stabbing things.

Ah, decisions, decisions.


*not really

Friday, February 27, 2009

All Sorts of Stupid


What good is ONE speaker?!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Beep Beep


Tunnel Vision

I wore my glasses to work today because I fell asleep on the couch last night and never took my contacts out. The old me would have just woken up, blinked the dry eyes away and went merrily on my way. The new me doesn't feel like being scolded by the optometrist again (unlike the dentist I can't avoid going there), so out came the contacts and on went the glasses.

I really hate them. With no peripheral vision I feel as though I'm looking at the world through low powered binoculars.

What if somebody sneaks up on me with evil intent? I could die today.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I Don't Feel Your Pain

I can’t wait until all these bass turds who took out huge mortgages and refinanced to the hilt get their bail out. It will make me feel real good that I settled for the cheapest 4 bedroom house on the market in the inner ‘burbs because I didn’t want to overextend myself. Maybe I should have. Who needs to be responsible for their own actions anymore?

Friday, February 20, 2009

Poke Me with a Stick

205361911 So, I searched for speakers this morning. Polk speakers. A framed portrait of President James Polk was in the search results.


As odd as a framed portrait of a B list President is, I dunno maybe he has a huge cult following, but for $75!? That's all kinds of nuts.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


"i was talking to you for 2 minutes but you didn't answer me"

"these devices in my ears are called headphones"

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Office Hazards

It smells like garlic so bad here. My eyes are burning.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Dark chocolate infused with a chili pepper? I don't know about that, but my curiosity is getting the best of me. I just may have to buy one, but not at CVS prices (where this picture was taken).

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Know .NET?

If you do then you will definitely appreciate this, if not then move along. There's nothing to see here.

This was in Thing 2's codebehind, I was asked if it was correct:

If Session("RoleID") = 4 Then
<TR><TD colSpan=5><div id="flashparent">
<DIV id="flashcontent"><SPAN>Please make sure that you have the latest
version of your browsers Flash player.</SPAN></DIV></div>
End If


You ever get so angry that your hands shake? It makes it hard to type.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Pumphouse Park

The weather outside yesterday was, in the words of my favorite English scholar, awesome. So, we went to visit a park that we haven't been to before. One of the great things about Richmond is its abundance of parks. Many of them are filled with history, and if you know me, you know I love history. Pumphouse Park is no exception. From the Gothic Revival architecture of the actual pumphouse to the remains of the canal, this is probably my new favorite park. I plan to come back next with my fishing pole. I've heard there's great fishing in the canals.

Here's a few of the pictures I took:

The rest can be viewed here if you are so inclined.

(""" & ohComeOn & """)

Jeez. I just spent 10 minutes watching someone mangle string concatenation. I actually felt bad…

Ampersand. Ampersand. Right there. Ampersand. Double quote. Two double quotes. Ampersand. Parenthese. You didn’t close your parenthese. That double quote escapes the other one. Escapes. Ampersand. Double quote. Two double quotes.

Sunday, February 08, 2009


In case you didn't believe that I painted yesterday.

Saturday, February 07, 2009


The weather was perfect today (almost 70), so I decided to make some progress with painting (priming) the shed. But unfortunately, it had been very cold here recently and when I opened my bucket of paint there was ice in it. So, I had to wait a little while until the sun warmed it up.

J.W. Longaberger Eat Your Heart Out*

My company, in my opinion, is very dysfunctional. I know, I know everybody thinks their company is dysfunctional, but my company's dysfunction is different than your typical corporate environment.

I can't really effectively describe all of the idiosyncrasies that I feel make my company the Bundys of the business world, but I can provide a picture that I think sums it up pretty well.

Its a wicker basket on the floor of the men's bathroom in one of the stalls that is filled with mostly used rolls of toilet paper and, occasionally, magazines. Since I started at this company a year ago, the basket has been there. The amount of content fluctuates. Sometimes there are magazines. Sometimes its filled to the brim with rolls of TP. Sometimes it's almost empty.

Regardless, it's pretty disgusting.

One of these days I am going to don a pair of chemical resistant gloves and burn it outside somewhere.


*Where did the phrase "eat your heart out" come from? It's pretty bizarre when you think about it.

Friday, February 06, 2009


It stinks in here.

Thursday, February 05, 2009


Thumbnail via WebSnapr: think I am going to make a suggestion at our next developer meeting, oh wait, my bad, we don't have those, that we start developing in the SiMPLE programming language. Maybe I won't have to answer so many questions.

Thing 1: Andy is this correct in SQL?
Thing 1: IF @RoleID <> 1 OR @RoleID <> 4
Thing 1: can i check like this
Me: did you try it?
Thing 1: i gave in SP i dont know
Thing 1: im trying now
Thing 1: i think its failing
Thing 1: Declare @RoleID Int
set @RoleID = 1
IF @RoleID <> 1 OR @RoleID <> 4
Print 's'
Print 'n'
Thing 1: its printing s
Me: well, your logic is wrong
Thing 1: where
Me: @RoleID doesn't = 4 thats why its printing
Thing 1: oh,should it be AND
Me: riiight
Thing 1: ok,Thank you Andy
Thing 1: but if i give AND @RoleID  should be 1 and 4 at the same time

At the very least I think I am going to pick up a copy of Saved by Simple Logic by Mohammad Huwaidi to give to Thing 1.