I'd like to create a TV show called House Hunter Hunters. It would be about a man who hunts down all of these weiners who appear on the show House Hunters complaining about not having a 2nd guest bedroom or a master bath that doesn't have a tub and a separate shower, or being forced to use their exercise equipment in the same room that the computer is in, kidnaps them and forces them to live in a 1300 sq ft 1970s ranch with (egads!) pine kitchen cabinets and faux wood countertops, a master bath with only one sink, ONE!, and berber carpet throughout. Or he would just slap them around and make them cry.
Pansies. You wouldn't last a day.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Fabulous Movie Review
The Lady in the WaterI was excited to see this much maligned creation of M. Night Shadklsjfkasdjf. I've enjoyed all of his movies and this one was no exception. Yeah, it's a little weird and disjointed at times, but so what. It's imaginative.
A more adult (calm down) version would have been better though. The scary parts are just hinted at and don't really come to the forefront, just like a true children's story.
Two complaints. One, Mr. Night, while doing a cameo in one of your movies is entirely acceptable, taking on a starring role is silly. Second, a scene, and I won't give anything away, involving a kid who interprets, was stupid. STUPID.
A few other moments were silly too, even for a fairy tale, but taken on the whole, it's worth watching. Three stars out of Five.
24
In a sidenote, actually its more like a prenote, wife and I got sucked into watching Jack Bauer in The Vanishing on TBS or something last night. It was pretty bad. Jack only killed one person and Chloe wasn't in the movie at all.
This episode of 24 was greeeeeat though. Honestly, I didn't see the ending coming, but what's the deal with the world's most evil man, Powers Boothe, (have you ever seen Deadwood? He's great in that) as the Vice President? Not knowing how Wayne Palmer became President, I can't speculate on what would possess him to choose this guy as his running mate, but it could only be blackmail.
President Palmer is also big into speaking barely above a whisper for emphasis, someone should inform him that it doesn't work.
Why do I speak about this show as if it was real life?
This episode of 24 was greeeeeat though. Honestly, I didn't see the ending coming, but what's the deal with the world's most evil man, Powers Boothe, (have you ever seen Deadwood? He's great in that) as the Vice President? Not knowing how Wayne Palmer became President, I can't speculate on what would possess him to choose this guy as his running mate, but it could only be blackmail.
President Palmer is also big into speaking barely above a whisper for emphasis, someone should inform him that it doesn't work.
Why do I speak about this show as if it was real life?
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Kip Journal 4/14/1999
Kip said Jared was an easy target to make fun of.
In college, Kip got good pot. he used to know this guy who would drive to NYC to get it.
Read the Kip Journal FAQ
In college, Kip got good pot. he used to know this guy who would drive to NYC to get it.
Read the Kip Journal FAQ
Label Me Not Impressed
I thought Must See TV was a little mediocre this week. Like the producers of all four shows got together and decided that each would air their worst episodes of the season.
No Thanks
$250 for the full version! No thanks. I've never had a problem with XP. I'll just wait another year or two until I buy a new computer.Thursday, February 01, 2007
I just remembered one of them
A 32-year-old city man is accused of assaulting...
My first thought when I read the first line of the article was that maybe I knew him, since we are in fact the same age. I'm glad to say I did not know him. Then I saw his picture and I thought that he is the oldest and ugliest looking 32 year old man I have ever seen.
I can't believe we are the same age. Three cheers for aging well! Hip hip hooray...
My first thought when I read the first line of the article was that maybe I knew him, since we are in fact the same age. I'm glad to say I did not know him. Then I saw his picture and I thought that he is the oldest and ugliest looking 32 year old man I have ever seen.
I can't believe we are the same age. Three cheers for aging well! Hip hip hooray...
Dagnubbit!
I had three posts written down on a piece of paper at work and I left the paper on my desk. And I can't remember what they are.
Let's see what I can come up with.
The BO at work has an unusual facial structure that reminds me of something that I haven't been able to put my finger on until now. A rotting jack o lantern. You think I am kidding or exaggerating but I'm not.
Let's see what I can come up with.
The BO at work has an unusual facial structure that reminds me of something that I haven't been able to put my finger on until now. A rotting jack o lantern. You think I am kidding or exaggerating but I'm not.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Be Nice to Your IT Guy (or Girl)
As a general rule IT people have big egos and the longer they've been in their current position the bigger that ego grows. Just like college professors.
One of the things I've learned being on both sides of the fence is that you don't want to make IT people mad at you. Some examples of how you can make IT people mad at you are:
I could go on for days.
Recently Iwas forced cheerfully agreed to take over the "PC Coordinator" (yes, the title is as demeaning as it sounds (at least in my eyes)) duties for my department. Taking over for an inept man who can now concentrate on his real job as International Mandatory Offers Processor. Exciting.
I like to call this man "Hopelessly Suppressed Still in the Closet Living in Denial Who is Prone to Various Outbursts and Other Aggressive Behavior". Not as catchy as "Kip" but what can you do.
Anyway, he put in this request to get something done almost 2 months ago. Of course, I am cleaning up after him, so I contact the Help Desk who tells me to contact this person in IT, so I send her an email nicely asking whats going on with it.
She replies back shortly telling me that the request was denied on 12/4 because it was on the wrong form. She kindly attached the proper form, and told me that when I filled it out to send it back to her directly and she would get it done ASAP. Cool.
Quickly scanning over the form I realize its all French to me, meaning, I don't understand one word of it other than "Associate Name." Like an IRS form.
Well, who better than to ask for help filling out this ungodly thing than Hopelessly Suppressed Still in the Closet Living in Denial Who is Prone to Various Outbursts and Other Aggressive Behavior, so I forward the email to him, and simply ask for a little guidance in filling out this DMV style form.
He does the unspeakable thing of launching off on a tirade sending her a vicious email about everything from David Beckham's wife's breast implants to how his Diet Caffeine Free Dr. Pepper is flat. He uses the email that I forwarded him, and CCs me. So now I'm horrified because I think that the IT person is going to think that he and I are like the Ambiguously Gay Duo of Corporate Actions. Not only that, but I'm thinking that this request will never get done now and I am going to be black listed from IT and never be able to get a job there or get ANY of these stupid requests done in a timely manner. (IT people have loooong memories).
I told him he shouldn't have done that. When he asked why, I simply said if you have to ask why then you just don't get it, man.
After a few days, I filled out the IRS form by myself, called her, told her a few jokes about guys with chintzy beards who drink Diet Caffeine Free Dr. Pepper and rednecks who call into local radio stations during the morning commute, and said I was forwarding the request to her.
We'll see how long it takes to get done.
One of the things I've learned being on both sides of the fence is that you don't want to make IT people mad at you. Some examples of how you can make IT people mad at you are:
- Calling or emailing them directly for every issue that you have when there is a process or a central place to launch an inquiry.
- Pretending to be smart about technology and/or asking them a hundred questions about how they plan to/or did fix something.
- Asking questions for which there is no easy answer (why is my computer running slow) and then snorting or rolling your eyes when they tell there is no easy answer
- Yelling at them.
- Sending nasty emails to them.
- Getting your managers manager to yell and/or be nasty to them.
I could go on for days.
Recently I
I like to call this man "Hopelessly Suppressed Still in the Closet Living in Denial Who is Prone to Various Outbursts and Other Aggressive Behavior". Not as catchy as "Kip" but what can you do.
Anyway, he put in this request to get something done almost 2 months ago. Of course, I am cleaning up after him, so I contact the Help Desk who tells me to contact this person in IT, so I send her an email nicely asking whats going on with it.
She replies back shortly telling me that the request was denied on 12/4 because it was on the wrong form. She kindly attached the proper form, and told me that when I filled it out to send it back to her directly and she would get it done ASAP. Cool.
Quickly scanning over the form I realize its all French to me, meaning, I don't understand one word of it other than "Associate Name." Like an IRS form.
Well, who better than to ask for help filling out this ungodly thing than Hopelessly Suppressed Still in the Closet Living in Denial Who is Prone to Various Outbursts and Other Aggressive Behavior, so I forward the email to him, and simply ask for a little guidance in filling out this DMV style form.
He does the unspeakable thing of launching off on a tirade sending her a vicious email about everything from David Beckham's wife's breast implants to how his Diet Caffeine Free Dr. Pepper is flat. He uses the email that I forwarded him, and CCs me. So now I'm horrified because I think that the IT person is going to think that he and I are like the Ambiguously Gay Duo of Corporate Actions. Not only that, but I'm thinking that this request will never get done now and I am going to be black listed from IT and never be able to get a job there or get ANY of these stupid requests done in a timely manner. (IT people have loooong memories).
I told him he shouldn't have done that. When he asked why, I simply said if you have to ask why then you just don't get it, man.
After a few days, I filled out the IRS form by myself, called her, told her a few jokes about guys with chintzy beards who drink Diet Caffeine Free Dr. Pepper and rednecks who call into local radio stations during the morning commute, and said I was forwarding the request to her.
We'll see how long it takes to get done.
Clean as a Whistle
Hehe. I love it when these phonies show their true colors.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/31/biden.obama/
It's too bad Biden isn't a Republican because then Al Sharpton would be organizing a posse to demand his resignation.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/31/biden.obama/
It's too bad Biden isn't a Republican because then Al Sharpton would be organizing a posse to demand his resignation.
Access Denied
The Access Denieds I've gotten at work in the past couple of weeks.
- http://www.developerfusion.co.uk/ Technical/Business Forums
- http://bigasworld.blogspot.com/ Personal Pages
- http://kreblog.com Personal Pages
- http://www.gimptalk.com/forum/topic.php?t=2624&start=1 Personal Pages;Forum/Bulletin Boards
- http://www.theonion.com Humor;Profanity
- http://www.someblogs.com Personal Pages
- http://www.tvsquad.com Entertainment/Recreation/Hobbies;Personal Pages
- http://www.gimptalk.com Personal Pages;Forum/Bulletin Boards
- http://www.tqstats.com Games;Sports
- http://translate.google.com Anonymizing Utilities
- http://nelbl.baseball.sportsline.com/ Games;Sports
- http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Bluefield%2C_West_Virginia&action=edit§ion=3 Education/Reference;Personal Pages
- http://www.webmasterworld.com/forum47/2406.htm Business;Computing/Internet;Technical/Business Forums
- http://www.wikihow.com/Feel-Like-Eating-Breakfast-First-Thing-in-the-Morning Personal Pages
- http://enonhall.com/html/journal0107.html#01272007 Personal Pages
- http://del.icio.us/ Personal Pages
The Anti-Social
The social committee at work passed around a sign up sheet today for everyone to bring something to the Mardi Gras lunch party thing they are planning.
On said sheet they spelled my name: Andé
Andé!
Meesta Meesta Get Me Outta Here!
On said sheet they spelled my name: Andé
Andé!
Meesta Meesta Get Me Outta Here!
Kip Journal 4/13/1999
"Lollapalooza was cool back when they had cool bands, and all those black bra b****s."
[A direct quote of Kip. We had less idea what it meant than you do right now. Ed.]
After his 21st birthday Kip still made it to work the day after even though he had 5 long island iced teas the night before.
I am running a program call Unsecure to crack Kip's password, so I can get into his machine and mess around with it. Subtle stuff to mess with his brain on a constant and daily basis is the best way to go.
Read the Kip Journal FAQ
[A direct quote of Kip. We had less idea what it meant than you do right now. Ed.]
After his 21st birthday Kip still made it to work the day after even though he had 5 long island iced teas the night before.
I am running a program call Unsecure to crack Kip's password, so I can get into his machine and mess around with it. Subtle stuff to mess with his brain on a constant and daily basis is the best way to go.
Read the Kip Journal FAQ
Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?
There's not enough rednecks around here. I was grossly misinformed. I feel like I am living in Durham, NH.
I hear the Deep South calling my name.
I hear the Deep South calling my name.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Okay Amigo
I didn't move 750 miles south to be an Administrative Assistant.
I spent the entire day coordinating the arrival of 9 consultants. Not what I was hired to do and not exactly good resume padding material.
The Business Analyst is going to be out for 12 weeks on short term disability, and I've got a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of her work (whatever that is). I guess I'll just have to suck it up. Wait a minute...why would I want to do that? Hang around doing a job I'm not enjoying, that's not shaping up to be anything like they described to me, so maybe in another 15 months, I might be able to find a job within the company in the IT department? There's no guarantee of that either. Or in 15 months the economy could go south again and then I could be stuck with nowhere to go. Screw that.
Am I ungrateful? Disloyal? A big baby? I don't care. I was stuck in a job I HATED, working for someone I DISLIKED with a passion only reserved for people like Hillary Clinton for three loooong years and that is never going to happen to me again, if I can at all help it. Being within commuting distance of hundreds of companies looking for people like me is an opportunity I don't want to miss either.
Ok, I'm done bellyaching.
Speaking of the BA (or BO, as I like to call her), I was in her cube for an hour yesterday while she "trained" me on some new screens that they are adding to our mainframe. She had some ripe rotting salad in her garbage can that made my nose run. I had to cover my nose with my two hands for the duration.
She has a mustache too. Its really long around the edges, but totally blonde so it can only be seen at certain angles. Unfortunately, I was eating my lunch at just the right angle.
If you've ever seen me eat a sandwich, and I bite into some hard nubule in the meat (you know what I am talking about), I usually have a violent gag reflex. At that point, it is physically impossible to finish my sandwich. My throat will not swallow it. Well, that's what happened when I caught a glimpse of her whiskers. The dime sized mole on her wrist with the forest of black hairs doesn't help either.
I spent the entire day coordinating the arrival of 9 consultants. Not what I was hired to do and not exactly good resume padding material.
The Business Analyst is going to be out for 12 weeks on short term disability, and I've got a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of her work (whatever that is). I guess I'll just have to suck it up. Wait a minute...why would I want to do that? Hang around doing a job I'm not enjoying, that's not shaping up to be anything like they described to me, so maybe in another 15 months, I might be able to find a job within the company in the IT department? There's no guarantee of that either. Or in 15 months the economy could go south again and then I could be stuck with nowhere to go. Screw that.
Am I ungrateful? Disloyal? A big baby? I don't care. I was stuck in a job I HATED, working for someone I DISLIKED with a passion only reserved for people like Hillary Clinton for three loooong years and that is never going to happen to me again, if I can at all help it. Being within commuting distance of hundreds of companies looking for people like me is an opportunity I don't want to miss either.
Ok, I'm done bellyaching.
Speaking of the BA (or BO, as I like to call her), I was in her cube for an hour yesterday while she "trained" me on some new screens that they are adding to our mainframe. She had some ripe rotting salad in her garbage can that made my nose run. I had to cover my nose with my two hands for the duration.
She has a mustache too. Its really long around the edges, but totally blonde so it can only be seen at certain angles. Unfortunately, I was eating my lunch at just the right angle.
If you've ever seen me eat a sandwich, and I bite into some hard nubule in the meat (you know what I am talking about), I usually have a violent gag reflex. At that point, it is physically impossible to finish my sandwich. My throat will not swallow it. Well, that's what happened when I caught a glimpse of her whiskers. The dime sized mole on her wrist with the forest of black hairs doesn't help either.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
That's the title of a Dr. Seuss book, in case you didn't know.
If I was single or married without the possiblity of having kids, I would buy one of these four places:
What can I say? It's got a cool garage that looks like a bunker. And is within an hours drive of the Hatfield-McCoy trails I love so much.
This place has 4 rental units. Now, if you've actually been to Gilbert, WV to go riding on the aforementioned Hatfield-McCoy trails then you know that you have to book your lodging months in advance. So let's do some quick calculations. Each unit gets $125 a night. If your unit gets rented 4 nights a week, and we'll be conservative and say that it gets rented 4 nights a week but only for 26 weeks a year, then one unit is rented 104 nights a year. Times 4 thats 416 nights a year. $125 a night. That's $52,000 a year. Not bad. And you don't even have to provide people with working washers and dryers (thats an inside joke).
This place is actually pretty nice, although they skimped a bit on the landscaping. How much will $160,000 get you in Southern New Hampshire? A fancy shack in downtown Rochester. Now that's livin'.
This one is my personal favorite. It's the quintessential diamond in the rough. Every night after work I could hop on my ATV and ride for a couple of hours straight from my back yard. This house prompted Big A to say that "he could never live anywhere that a real house cost less than a 50 yr old mobile in NH". He's probably right. These little towns in West Virginia are a little scary if you're not a local or not one of the "tourists" just spending the weekend riding on their trails. I bet you'd never feel like an outsider more in your life, unless you were from Maine convicted of stealing mail from someones mailbox but you only did it as a joke and you ended up in Federal Prison in Marion, Illinois.
I love West Virginia, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't live there.
If I was single or married without the possiblity of having kids, I would buy one of these four places:
What can I say? It's got a cool garage that looks like a bunker. And is within an hours drive of the Hatfield-McCoy trails I love so much.This place has 4 rental units. Now, if you've actually been to Gilbert, WV to go riding on the aforementioned Hatfield-McCoy trails then you know that you have to book your lodging months in advance. So let's do some quick calculations. Each unit gets $125 a night. If your unit gets rented 4 nights a week, and we'll be conservative and say that it gets rented 4 nights a week but only for 26 weeks a year, then one unit is rented 104 nights a year. Times 4 thats 416 nights a year. $125 a night. That's $52,000 a year. Not bad. And you don't even have to provide people with working washers and dryers (thats an inside joke).This place is actually pretty nice, although they skimped a bit on the landscaping. How much will $160,000 get you in Southern New Hampshire? A fancy shack in downtown Rochester. Now that's livin'.This one is my personal favorite. It's the quintessential diamond in the rough. Every night after work I could hop on my ATV and ride for a couple of hours straight from my back yard. This house prompted Big A to say that "he could never live anywhere that a real house cost less than a 50 yr old mobile in NH". He's probably right. These little towns in West Virginia are a little scary if you're not a local or not one of the "tourists" just spending the weekend riding on their trails. I bet you'd never feel like an outsider more in your life, unless you were from Maine convicted of stealing mail from someones mailbox but you only did it as a joke and you ended up in Federal Prison in Marion, Illinois.I love West Virginia, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't live there.
I Hate Repeats
From now on, before I get all excited about NBC's Thursday night lineup and on Wednesday think that it's Thursday and then get really depressed because it's only Wednesday, I am going to check the TV listings to see if they are showing repeats.
That really sucked.
That really sucked.
Fabulous Movie Review
The Devil Wears PradaLet me list the things about this movie which are good:
- Anne Hathaway is pretty.
1 star out of five.
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