The one that I work with daily has poor hygiene. Some days she smells so bad that I can smell her coming. I am not joking. This is not some exercise in stretching my imagination. You think I am kidding, but I am not. Or enhancing my story to get laughs. You couldn't be more wrong. Perhaps you have labeled me an exaggerator, or worse, a liar. There is no reasoning with you in that case, and I shall not try.
She doesn't laugh, she barks. Sounds like Patti or Selma.
She doesn't cough, she brays. Sounds like a donkey getting a beating for refusing to pull a cart.
One day I noticed she had pen marks all over her white shirt. She flails her pen all over the place and she must have written all over herself.
That same day she was drawing me diagrams on a piece of paper with the same pen. It was a fine point, but it was worn out so instead of gliding smoothly on the paper, it scraped. After a while it started to sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. I must have looked like a drug addict, all sweaty, and fidgety, my eyes darting from side to side, just waiting to get out of there.
The day after Christmas, she sent me an email telling me she had gotten a basket of "goodies" (her words not mine, shoot me, if I ever say "goodies") and that I could help myself. I went to get some goodies, but I refused to eat anything that the package was already open. Oooh, that fancy toffee covered popcorn looks good! Awww, the box is already open. I guess I will have to settle for these sugar cookies with a dot of stale jelly in the middle.
Today her cube smelled heavily of Slim Jims. Ha! You laugh. Slim Jims are yummy and smell delicious, you say. Not to me. Not anymore. Never again. One time in college I ate 4 Taco Bell tacos. They made me sick and when I vomited, they came up my nose. It was 7 or 8 years before I could eat Taco Bell again.
Sorry Slim Jim. I won't be snapping into you until at least the next decade.
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4 comments:
what exactly does a business analyst do anyway?
the title says it best, but rarely do i meet a business analyst that actually does what they are supposed to. they "analyze" the business needs of a company and are supposed to build better procedures or develop some automated process. usually they work pretty closely with developers cause BAs don't actually DO anything. Sometimes these people are responsible for reports and queries, but more often than not, their little brains can't handle it.
shaun, i couldn't have said it better myself.
seems we have run across the same type of "anal"ysts
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