Weather

It was in the 60s and sunny today. That is all. Carry on.

Ever Seen a Naked Girl? In Person?

The very first day of work was a general orientation for new hires. I would guess there was about 40 of us in the room. Each table (about 7 or 9 people) had a group questionnaire they had to answer. One question was who has the most unusual hobby? I got the honors at my table, keeping tracking of the number of animals my cat killed the past year. Another guy at another table had a great one and is the purpose of this post.

He started out describing how he hand-paints miniature soldiers and he and some of his other like-minded friends have chess or Stratego type war games with them. Ok, that's kind of interesting I suppose. The instructor asked what time period he was interested in, Civil War, World War 2 or something else. The guy responded uh, no fantasy and science fiction. You could feel the entire room groan. The instructor surprisingly kept a straight face. The man then went into great detail about his characters and the "battles" he and his friends have enacted.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good science fiction or fantasy NOVEL, but that's where I draw the line. If you or someone you love has crossed that line, seek help. Immediately.

End of Week 2

So the end of Week 1 saw me getting an actual desk and a computer. Unfortunately my computer was pretty much useless to me other than as an email checking device because I did not have Administrator rights to it. Those were received Friday afternoon around 3. Hopefully, Week 3 will see me actually getting some work done.

I LOVE LSD!

Oops. I meant DSL. It's nice not to be on dial up anymore. My first official usage of my new bandwith? Downloaded the 4th episode of The Office from this season.

Yahoo?

I can't check my Yahoo mail at work. That really stinks. I just got a computer and a desk on Friday, although I have no useful software on it yet. I am handwriting all my code and dictating it to a coworker. Nah. I kid. Some of the recent new hires don't have desks or computers yet, so I feel privileged.

Old Chevy Obsession

In addition to a mid 1980s Buick Regal and 1970s Corvette, I've always wanted a late 1960s or early 1970s Chevy pick up.

This site I found has a lot for sale. And this one is my favorite. Too bad its a GMC, but other than the front grill there's not much difference.

Slow Recovery

I'm still a little sore from dodgeball on Sunday. My left butt muscle and my right shoulder.

Kip! Journal 3/19/1999

Kip used to only be able to bench 230, but then he started this intense endurance workout, and now he can do 260 maybe 275.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Kip! Journal 3/18/1999

A LESSON IN KIP SPEAK

scuba tanks = 40 oz. bottles of malt liquor

"would basically" = where the crock of s!@# aspect of his story begins

EXAMPLES

"my wife would go out of town for a week and I would basically just drink whisky and have hookers over who..."

Back when Kip was in college on Friday nights he would go get a couple of scuba tanks

Another example here.

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

The "C" Stands for Cheddar, Right?

I need to learn C# (for those who don't know, its called C Sharp, hence the cheddar joke. Sharp cheddar. haha. Go away if you don't find my lame humor funny.) for my new job. Can anybody recommend a good book?

America's Greatest Sport Besides Baseball

I played dodge ball yesterday. When I play I don't take it easy. I don't sit back by the wall like a sissy. I'm right up front. Eyes peeled. Every ball that comes my way I grab and huck back at the opposing team as hard as I can.

Fifteen minutes into the game I thought I was dying. I couldn't breathe. My heart was pounding out of my chest and my head was filled with helium. Tunnel vision is a symptom of a heart attack, right? When did I get so old? I played through the pain though. That's what a man does.

I got hit square in the face too. It was a good old fashioned saliva and snot flying smack, too. In slow motion it would be reminiscent of Rocky getting pummeled by Clubber Lang or Apollo Creed. I'm not complaining about that, Buddha knows I've hit many kids, teens and adults in the face (many times on purpose), but I was a little embarassed that's all.

Today, my right shoulder can barely move. My hip joints are sore, and my left leg from the buttock down to the hamstrings is in P.A.I.N.

Again, when did I get so old? I need to start jogging or something.

Gagknee! on the Computer

When I first heard of Panic! at the Disco I immediately thought, "Wow what a clever name. Those guys are so clever." I mean, inserting a piece of punctuation where it doesn't belong and also subtley making fun of a genre of music that as far as I know hasn't been made fun of before. That's great. You guys rule.

No. Wait a minute. What am I saying? I never thought that. You suck. Get off my radio. Go back to playing high school dances in the midwest. If I hear your lilting effeminate voice and "slappy" drums one more time through my speakers I am going to stick the sharp end of multiple pencils in my ears, nose and throat. Maybe you and Snow Patrol and Fall Out Boy and Dashboard Confessional could have a Battle of the Bands or something. That would be far out.

I find solace in knowing that in a year or two you will join the ranks of other flavor of the day bands from various decades and be nothing but a joke that people will laugh about.

"Can you believe we actually listened to that crap?"

"Yeah, what were we thinking?"

I Just Crapped My Pants

I just realized my new job's payroll is semi-monthly. For a few seconds I had that confused with bi-monthly.

Kip Journal 3/15/1999

Kip knows AutoCAD

Kip prefers DOS over Windows

Read the Kip Journal FAQ

Crisis Avoided

On moving day at 7:30 AM I had backed a pick up truck into my side yard to retrieve Rob's trailer from my back yard. While hooking up the trailer, Lurleen walks into my yard in her bathrobe to talk to me about bringing over the microwave stand we were giving them. All I could think about the whole time she was talking to me was that she was probably completely naked under that robe. It wasn't a happy thought. Thank God there was no breeze that day. The belt straining against her ample belly was thankfully double knotted.

Coincidentally...

Or incidentally or perhaps ironically, the company mentioned in this post is the one that hired me. A little Dickensian foreshadowing perhaps. Who knew I was such a literary genius?

Pale Dry Ginger Ale

I don't have much time to wrap up the Squamscot Soda testing, but I did manage to grab a bottle of the Pale Dry Ginger Ale last week.

It's very, very good.

Travelin' Riverside Blues

I've travelled back and forth to Richmond three times in two weeks. I'm wiped out.

More of The Experience

I forgot to mention on the flight down to Richmond at the Manchester airport I set off the metal detector twice and had to be pulled aside. No body cavities were probed, but I did have a man put his hand in my waistband. The culprit? A piece of foil in my pocket. For making electrical connections in an explosive device or keeping candy fresh. One or the other.

I was also able to narrowly (pun intended) avoid The Experience this weekend too. Driving with my wife one night last week on Haven Hill Rd in Somersworth/Rochester, which is the road that connects 108 to Salmon Falls Rd. and has a railroad bridge running over it which is notoriously narrow and low, I said to her, "I better not try to take the moving van down this road. It won't fit."

Sunday afternoon I'm driving down this road in the moving van and as I approach the bridge I think to myself, "I hope that there aren't any cars coming in the other direction, we won't both fit." Immediately following that thought was, "You idiot! That's an 11 foot bridge and you are driving a 12 foot truck! Don't you remember telling your wife just a few days ago you wouldn't be able to drive down this road. You idiot!"

One 18 point turn later and I was headed back towards 108 to head for the much safer Whitehall Rd.