Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Presidents with Facial Hair

I'll vote for the next guy who runs for President who sports facial hair of any kind with preference given to those with beards or mutton chops over mustaches. With goatees being popular for well over a decade now, you would think at least one politician would have the courage, the moral fortitude, to grow one. But then, we are talking about politicians and sadly moral fortitude is not a job requirement.

Speaking of mustaches, it's a shame that they have received such a negative connotation in our society and I fear because of the stigma attached to them they will never again achieve mainstream popularity. Too bad. Some great men have sported a 'stache. Like Magnum P.I. And that old guy in Misery whom the evil Kathy Bates blasts with a shotgun.

Anywho, here is all of our country's Presidents who chose not to let a razor touch their skin.
Benjamin Harrison
Uncle Jesse?
Chester Arthur
Had his mutton chops trimmed for this photo unfortunately. I saw a few pictures of him where mice could inhabit those chops. Unfortunately the pictures were of lesser quality
Andy Sipowicz, oops, Grover ClevelandJames Garfield
Hands down, my favorite beard. Kind of an urbane hillbilly look. Dignified yet dangerous.
Abraham Lincoln
The only President brave enough to don the beard with no mustache. Courage. Pure unadulterated courage.
Rutherford Hayes
Where James Garfield is dignified and dangerous, Hayes is more crazed and homicidal.
Theodore Roosevelt
What can I say? Easily the most boring of this bunch.
Ulysses Grant
Classic hobo look. I can only dream.
Martin Van Buren
Courageous or just crazy? Gotta love it though. Nobody in this day and age would ever look like this. Too bad, really.
William Taft
Hands down the best mustache. A contemporary of Roosevelt, you know he just had to grow a better one. Rivals they were, I bet.

7 comments:

Beastie said...

Bill Richardson

Rob said...

Ben Bernanke

skape7 said...

I had a teacher in high school who was the spitting image of Van Buren, hair and all. The guy was a complete fruit-loop.

gagknee said...

[rubbing eyes] skape7?

gagknee said...

well, there we go, two viable candidates for president.

Granite said...

Grant. He drank well

gagknee said...

great name, too.