Thursday, April 13, 2006

Linda Tripp Report

April 4-5, 2006

I really wanted to leave early on this trip, around 8 pm. First, I was very excited about going, second, every year I am the one who is always late holding up the group. It would have been a supreme personal accomplishment to not only not be late for the proposed departure but to actually be the first one to arrive in West Virginia, and third, I wanted to be able to ride for another half day.

But alas, nothing ever goes as planned. Even though I took the whole day off from work, I still had a lot to do, plus I took advantage of the additional free time to spend more time with my wife and kids.

The Lakota needed finishing and my 400EX needed a tune up. Both should have been simple jobs, but then nothing is simple for me. Approximately 2 hours were wasted looking for the proper tools, not to mention it was cold and rainy out. Someday I will have a garage which will be brightly lit and all tools will be stored in their proper place. Haha.

Eight O'clock rolls around and it becomes quite obvious to me that I am not going to be leaving early, so I did the only sensible thing and humbly called my friends to tell them I would be travelling with them and we made plans to meet. It wasn't any personal reason or hidden grudge that made me want to leave without them, I just wanted to get there early. There is safety in numbers though, in case something goes wrong. I said to my brother who was riding shotgun with me, "If anything happens to my truck Rich has room on his trailer for one more machine and we can throw the other in his bed, and I'll just leave my truck on the side of road and deal with it later."

By 11 pm we were finally on the road. By 11:20 pm we discovered that the piece of crap portable DVD player that I bought at Walmart and used twice could no longer play sound, which is an essential element to movie watching. My brother was able to make it work though, by inserting the cable halfway into the AV port. There were occasional glitches when it popped out or went in to far, but it was better than nothing.

It's a long ride to West Virginia. The entire trip was pretty uneventful except for the freak blizzard we hit in the mountains in Pennsylvania where at times I literally couldn't see the road.

We arrived in Gilbert, WV around 5 pm at our rental units where we discovered they did a little switcharoo on the units we were staying in because of a broken washing machine. Ah well. No big deal. The place was nice and clean and being in town is convenient, although having to walk to a pay phone to call my lovely wife was a bit of a drag, even more so at midnight when all the townies were out doing burnouts and hootin' and hollerin' and such.

Problem #2 surfaced soon after we had unpacked our gear, the box of contacts I had ordered were the wrong prescription! And I had no other contacts because the pair I was wearing the previous night were in a gas station garbage can somewhere in Pennsylvania. The only choice I had was to wear my glasses. I felt like a fool, an April fool as it were.

Problem #3 was some severe back pain that I incurred over the previous weekend moving our portable basketball hoop from the backyard to the front yard. On Monday, I seriously thought I would have to quit the trip because it was so bad and couldn't figure how I was going to sit in the saddle of my ATV for 3 days straight.

Problem #4 was that my stupid Canon Camcorder refused to run off any of its batteries. It appeared to charge them but as soon as the AC plug was detached it wouldn't turn on. I hate Canon. Takes great video but thats useless if the flippin thing doesn't work. So, unfortunately there will be no HM 2006 DVD Box set. My apologies to all those who were looking forward to its release.

For dinner that night we had Hardee's. Mmm. Mushroom Swiss burger and a vanilla milkshake. Goooood eatin'. A girl who worked there had a very filthy shirt on. I tried to get my brother or Grubby to ask her why.

April 6, 2006

Off we travelled to the Pinnacle Creek trail system in Pineville, WV. I was loaded up on Tylenol (four when we left and four more at noon), a back brace, and some Ben-Gay-like stuff, except it was stronger, smellier and burned like a bad sunburn. The combination of all three made the pain bearable. Once we actually started riding however, the adrenaline kicked in and I really didn't feel much discomfort.

Last year we rode this system for about an hour and a half before the Lakota fell apart, so this year it was almost like we had never ridden the system before. We ended up covering most of the system including the green, blue and most of the black trails before the Lakota ran out of gas. It was fun, the black trails were challenging but by no means scary. I'd like to go back but maybe in 2 years.

Oh I forgot to mention, as I was unloading my 4 wheeler from the back of my truck I tripped on a rock and fell. Luckily the machine didn't fall on me...Rob mentioned that we know whose trip is cursed this year. Yes, I definitely felt cursed.

Dinner at Hardee's again and the girl's shirt was still filthy.

April 7, 2006

The previous nights sleep was awful, as in I didn't get any. The olde back was killing me and I was afraid to take more Tylenol because I didn't want to OD.

Today's destination, Buffalo Mountain in between Matewan, Delbarton and Williamson, WV. I love Buffalo Mountain. It is a fun place to ride. If it had a couple of alternate routes to and from Matewan it might be my favorite of all the Hatfield McCoy systems. This year there was a new connector into the town of Delbarton that I was itching to ride.

We started off as we usually do, heading straight for Matewan and the good food at the Matewan Depot restaurant. We paused for a moment of silence at Nate's hill along the way. I can't imagine what was going on in my brother's head when we descended that hill.

After Matewan we headed straight for Delbarton. That new connector is a FUN trail. I loved it. Great hills and tight technical trails on the edge of cliffs. Once in town however its a half mile ride down pavement to the gas station. We decided to head off to Williamson instead to get gas. Unfortunately when we reached the junction of trail 11 a sign said "Temporary Closure". I astutely pointed out that the white board at the ranger station said that all trails were open, so we continued on. However, we came upon another trail closure sign so we decided to turn around, which was disappointing. That reminds me, I want to email those in charge of the trails and find out if the white board supersedes any temporary closure signs. I suspect that they do, since they might not have had the manpower to send somebody out to take down the closure signs, but it will be good to know in the future.

We stopped back at the trailhead before heading on to Williamson and we noticed a big storm brewing. Hail, severe winds and rain drops the size of gobstoppers soon followed. Packing up and heading back to Gilbert was the group's decision as much as I hated to do it.

The storm picked up on the drive back to Gilbert. A lot. It might have been one of the worst storms I have ever driven through. There was torrential downpour, crazy wind, and debris (trees, limbs, power lines, mobile home parts) everywhere. We were forced to drive over a lot of it.

Arriving safely back in Gilbert we discovered that a mini tornado had actually blown through the area. Nice. It wasn't too long before we discovered a flat tire on my (Rob's) trailer, then shortly after a flat on Rich's trailer. A little while later a flat on my truck, and just to rub it in a little bit more when we woke up the next day, I had ANOTHER flat on my truck. The weird thing about the flats was all the tires had three holes in them and they were tiny holes too. We must have all run over the same piece of trailer tin roofing. I think I know exactly which piece did it too.

Dinner at Billie Anne's. Thats all I really have to say.

April 8, 2006

Gilbert had a lot of rain the previous day and it was still raining now, and cold. It was amazing how much the river and creek running adjacent to our property had risen.

We decided to stay local today and ride the Rockhouse Trail system which connects directly to Gilbert. The weather was a little tough, but I've ridden through some adverse conditions before and wasn't too worried. I should have been. Our plan was just to ride to Man and back. Within 10 minutes of riding I was soaked through all 3 layers of my clothing and I was COLD. COOOOOOLD. Why didn't I bring my rain gear? Who knows. Its just part of the Andy being Andy experience.

Not to be discouraged we kept on riding, stopping every mile or so to wipe our goggles. It proved difficult though because the clay mud would just smear and our goggles never really were "clean". Those of us on sport ATVs had a more difficult time than the utility riders because of our lack of fender protection. I wanted to just rip my goggles off and forget them. They were smeared with clay inside and out. They kept fogging up and water had actually gotten in between the two panes of plastic. I didn't want to take them off for fear my glasses would become severely scratched and useless.

This went on for miles and miles and miles. I can't speak for everyone else, but I personally was miserable.

Finally, I couldn't take being unable to see anymore. I took off my goggles AND my glasses for the last couple of miles or so. My vision isn't awful, but I can't see anything well that is farther than ten feet away. I rode very cautiously the rest of the way, no trips over a cliff for me...

Man, WV provided warmth in the form of a spicy chicken fillet and two cups of coffee from Wendy's, a 15 dollar rain suit from the hardware store and two sweatshirts from the dollar store. Ahhh. I was warm again. Sweet, sweet warmth.

Five minutes down the trail however and I ripped off the dirty, smeared, scratched and foggy goggles and just rode with my glasses. Ahh wonderful, beautiful vision. So underrated. A while passed before it was necessary to clean my glasses. What to do? Wiping them off wasn't really an option because of possible scratchage and despite the rain there was no clean water around to rinse them. So, I licked them clean, hence the brown tongue. It worked well. I spit most of the mud out but some got stuck in my teeth and chewing gum. As Rob said, it's like eating a bad clam. Crunchy.

We eventually made it back safe and sound where we spent the evening eating pizza and watching the handsome and talented Vince Vaughn in Old School.

April 9, 2006

Besides the tire in Rich's trailer going flat again, necessitating its complete removal, it was an uneventful, albeit long, ride home. Despite the fact that I love going to West Virginia every year, its always good to be home again.

7 comments:

Rob said...

One of the waitresses at Billie Annes said, "I don't have a cold. I have allergies. I have been sneezing since I got to work."

Very comforting.

gagknee said...

hahaha. that might have been the funniest part of the trip, besides Big A's nipple tape of course.

mike gagne said...

why did Big A need nipple tape?

skape7 said...

I'm shortsighted with the whole contacts thing too so I totally understand.

Not sure I would be able to bring myself to do the same, but licking your glasses was quite ingenious.

And finally, I also agree - There's no place like home.

gagknee said...

his nipples were getting chafed. its happened to me before while riding. it BURNS.

gagknee said...

Licking the glasses wasn't too bad, except theres a lot of mud in West Virginia that has high coal content. It has an odd flavor, coal does.

Big A said...

Let me tell you, my nipples hurt SO BAD, that when I weighed the possibility of enduring the pain in silence vs. the humiliation of people finding out about the nipple tape, it was no contest.